mums and 'oversharing'

Nathan has been thinking about parents (let's face it, mothers) oversharing on facebook, telling everyone the gory details of pregnancy and baby and infant care, and reporting interesting (or not so interesting) happenings of the day. After many comments, Nathan seems to have moved a little in his thoughts on what constitutes oversharing. It's all got me thinking about why we report on our kids. Here are my thoughts.

• This is not new. Women have talked about the mundane details of their kids' lives since the dawn of time. People have been bored by it, written about how boring it can be to listen to, and then done it themselves. The online thing is new-ish, but in a way much better than in face to face conversation because you have the option not to read.

• There is nothing like the excitement of being pregnant. Especially the first time. It's like being in love. You are always thinking about it. It's impossible not to talk about it and write about it. (Maybe just don't mention the....[I'd write a word starting with Hem.. here, but it would scare Nathan.]

• Being at home with kids is intense. I notice every little thing that they do. My mind is focussed on them. What else would I talk about?

• Being at home with kids can sap your self esteem. I'm at home by myself. I'm lonely. I feel fat. I've not had a good night's sleep for a long long time and my mind doesn't feel at all sharp. I'm not getting out much. Apart from my kids, there's not alot going on for me. What else do I have to talk about?

• I love my children. I know that other parents are a little delusional about their kid's giftedness, but my child really is amazing. It's hard not to tell everyone. (I'm not being nasty here. All mothers should think this way about their kids. (But mine are unusually special!))

• Bodily functions really are amazing and amusing. Especially when you can see the whole digestive process from start to finish. Kiwi fruit? Sultanas? Corn? (Need I say more?)

• It is fantastic when our kids reach particular milestones. It is right to celebrate them!

• Hearing what other women are experiencing in their homes, validates the mundane acts of service that I perform in my home. When I feel like I'm leading a nothing life, your status updates comfort me. So keep them up!
  

As a mum, one of the things you want most of all is for someone to tell you that you are doing a good job. You almost never get positive comments on your parenting, but negative feedback abounds: glares in the shops, sighs at church, straight out criticism, tantrums... When Nathan (our oldest) was 18 months old, my mother-in-law told me I was doing well. It meant a lot.

Maybe clicking the 'like' button occasionally could be encouraging.