1. Yell at them. This dampens the mood somewhat.
2. Tell them to clean their rooms to make way for the new stuff the could potentially get. Then tell them to clean the rest of the house as well.
3. Get Daddy to sing his mop-microphone, over-dramatic version of Silent Night. Heck, we're all excited! Not just the kids!
4. Tell them that for every 5 minutes they are unsettled after bedtime, they need to wait an extra 10 minutes in the morning before opening their presents.
5. Give them unlimited electronic time. At least it will keep them quiet.
Wendy suggested this list. I've done all 5 today.
Showing posts with label top 5. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top 5. Show all posts
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Parents do stupid things to their kids
Here are a few things that I'm not going to do when my boys are teenagers and beyond.
(Note to self: reread this list each year)
Five things I'm not going to do as my kids get older:
1. Tell them they are going to hell. (Unlikely to lead to any positive communication)
2. Put them in a situation where they are not likely to make christian friends
3. Tell my teenage kids they can't go check out other churches
4. Be controlling
5. Throw tantrums when they make a choice I don't agree with.
Always best to talk about what kind of parent you are going to be in the future. Don't worry about now!
Here is a list I might have written a few years ago:
Five things I'm not going to do when my kids are primary aged:
1. Tell them to clean up their rooms 50,000 times per day when mine's a mess*
2. Tell kids to hurry up and get ready for school while I'm lazily sitting behind a computer.**
3. Make excuses for son's very poor reading and spelling ability saying things like 'he's actually really smart...' ***
4. Yell. ****
5. Chose a school based on educational outcomes rather than ministry opportunities.*****
* My bedroom doesn't count. The rest of the house is sparkly clean - and I did that! The kids only have responsibility for one room (half even!) Surely they can keep that clean!
** Not that I'd ever do this. Ever.
*** I had no idea before. High school teachers know nothing about learning disabilities (I didn't, anyway.)
**** Hm. Talk to my kids about this one!
***** We are lucky that our church is 400m down the road from one of the most sought after primary schools in Brisbane. No decision really. But having taught around many schools, it would be very tricky to deliberately choose one that wasn't great.
(Note to self: reread this list each year)
Five things I'm not going to do as my kids get older:
1. Tell them they are going to hell. (Unlikely to lead to any positive communication)
2. Put them in a situation where they are not likely to make christian friends
3. Tell my teenage kids they can't go check out other churches
4. Be controlling
5. Throw tantrums when they make a choice I don't agree with.
Always best to talk about what kind of parent you are going to be in the future. Don't worry about now!
Here is a list I might have written a few years ago:
Five things I'm not going to do when my kids are primary aged:
1. Tell them to clean up their rooms 50,000 times per day when mine's a mess*
2. Tell kids to hurry up and get ready for school while I'm lazily sitting behind a computer.**
3. Make excuses for son's very poor reading and spelling ability saying things like 'he's actually really smart...' ***
4. Yell. ****
5. Chose a school based on educational outcomes rather than ministry opportunities.*****
* My bedroom doesn't count. The rest of the house is sparkly clean - and I did that! The kids only have responsibility for one room (half even!) Surely they can keep that clean!
** Not that I'd ever do this. Ever.
*** I had no idea before. High school teachers know nothing about learning disabilities (I didn't, anyway.)
**** Hm. Talk to my kids about this one!
***** We are lucky that our church is 400m down the road from one of the most sought after primary schools in Brisbane. No decision really. But having taught around many schools, it would be very tricky to deliberately choose one that wasn't great.
Friday, December 11, 2009
five adolescent activities I like to engage in
1. Songwriting
2. Listening to the same song until I own the emotions of it.
3. Imagining that I'm feeling depressed or heartbroken when I'm really just suffering from an over indulgence in #2.
4. Reading Twilight and watching Australian idol
5. Trying on dresses that I have no intention of buying.
2. Listening to the same song until I own the emotions of it.
3. Imagining that I'm feeling depressed or heartbroken when I'm really just suffering from an over indulgence in #2.
4. Reading Twilight and watching Australian idol
5. Trying on dresses that I have no intention of buying.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Top 5 things that I've missed while being away
1. My dog
2. A couple of friends
3. Fast internet
4. All the blog love
5. My skype headphones
2. A couple of friends
3. Fast internet
4. All the blog love
5. My skype headphones
Top 5 things I've used while being away
1. My ratio cook book, butter, flour, sugar and eggs.
2. Sunscreen (an entire 1L pump pack)
3. My phone (QuadraPop)
4. Togs
5. [um... no. That's it.]
2. Sunscreen (an entire 1L pump pack)
3. My phone (QuadraPop)
4. Togs
5. [um... no. That's it.]
Top 5 things I've learnt while being away
1. Camping is fun if the camp site comes with 2 kitchens, private bathrooms, a gym, a lap pool an indoor play center and two waterslides.
2. The 1:2:3 ratio makes great cookies. Especially if they have lots of while choc chips.
3. I am a legend at QuadraPop - a mobile phone game. I've invested alot of time into it, and it's paid off.
4. That I'm vain enough to care about the tan marks that my togs leave on my back
5. That I love the beach best when it is as calm as a swimming pool.
2. The 1:2:3 ratio makes great cookies. Especially if they have lots of while choc chips.
3. I am a legend at QuadraPop - a mobile phone game. I've invested alot of time into it, and it's paid off.
4. That I'm vain enough to care about the tan marks that my togs leave on my back
5. That I love the beach best when it is as calm as a swimming pool.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
top 5 things that I don't do
1. Tax returns
2. Bill paying
3. Car packing
4. Planning for any holiday except our regular trip to Caloundra
5. Yard work
If Andrew died, I'd have no access to cash (my fault, not his), no electricity, no gas and no internet (!). We'd go on the same holiday each year, but everyone would need to gather their own stuff. The yard would be overgrown. Eventually the tax office would catch up with me, but it would take them a while because I wouldn't open the letters they sent.
None of this would be Andrew's fault. But I'd probably blame him anyway for enabling my helplessness.
2. Bill paying
3. Car packing
4. Planning for any holiday except our regular trip to Caloundra
5. Yard work
If Andrew died, I'd have no access to cash (my fault, not his), no electricity, no gas and no internet (!). We'd go on the same holiday each year, but everyone would need to gather their own stuff. The yard would be overgrown. Eventually the tax office would catch up with me, but it would take them a while because I wouldn't open the letters they sent.
None of this would be Andrew's fault. But I'd probably blame him anyway for enabling my helplessness.
top 5 things I like about halloween
1. Jack-o-lanterns2. Jack-o-lanterns
3. Jack-o-lanterns
4. Jack-o-lanterns
5. Jack-o-lanterns
top 5 problems with halloween
1. It's an import. Not really part of our culture.
2. The idea of trick or treat is nasty. 'Give me a lolly or I'll do something bad to you!'
3. I'm good with dress ups and make believe, but it is a bit silly if you take it too seriously - as many people seem to.
4. I saw halloween pumpkins on sale for $24 each. This is a rip off. Another shop had the same pumpkins for $10 each. Could the whole event be about money?
5. I felt silly going into Kmart yesterday and buying a book in the twilight series from a checkout girl dressed up in her halloween vampire gear...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Top 5 rules for coping with adversity and leading a less offensive online life
When a bad thing happens...
1. It may feel good to yell the details to the world in a cathartic blog post. Don't do it. It will only make things worse.
2. You may think you'll just write the blog post to get things off your chest but not actually publish it. Mistake. Once it's written, the post will scream out to you 'Publish me, publish me!' It's cries will get louder and louder and more and more unbearable until you hit 'publish'. And don't kid yourself. If you've written the post, you will publish it.
3. If you really need to write something, use paper.
4. If paper doesn't satisfy and you fingers are itching for the keyboard, frame your thoughts in a list.
5. If the list doesn't satisfy, nothing will. Either slit your wrists or break rule 1.
1. It may feel good to yell the details to the world in a cathartic blog post. Don't do it. It will only make things worse.
2. You may think you'll just write the blog post to get things off your chest but not actually publish it. Mistake. Once it's written, the post will scream out to you 'Publish me, publish me!' It's cries will get louder and louder and more and more unbearable until you hit 'publish'. And don't kid yourself. If you've written the post, you will publish it.
3. If you really need to write something, use paper.
4. If paper doesn't satisfy and you fingers are itching for the keyboard, frame your thoughts in a list.
5. If the list doesn't satisfy, nothing will. Either slit your wrists or break rule 1.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Top 5 things I don't like about being a single mum
1. I can't go to the gym in the morning or the night
2. I eat chocolate slice for dinner, because I can't be bothered cooking.
3. I have to take the kids out on all the little errands. My usual practice of 2-3 trips to Woolworths a day is not viable.
4. There is no natural end to the day - normally Andrew will finish work and come upstairs.
5. There is no one else to tell the kids to be good. I unpacked the dishes myself because it was less draining than getting one of the kids to do it.
[Andrew is away for a mere 6 days. My list might look different if it was permanent. The items are in the order I thought of them.]
2. I eat chocolate slice for dinner, because I can't be bothered cooking.
3. I have to take the kids out on all the little errands. My usual practice of 2-3 trips to Woolworths a day is not viable.
4. There is no natural end to the day - normally Andrew will finish work and come upstairs.
5. There is no one else to tell the kids to be good. I unpacked the dishes myself because it was less draining than getting one of the kids to do it.
[Andrew is away for a mere 6 days. My list might look different if it was permanent. The items are in the order I thought of them.]
Friday, October 16, 2009
Top 5 things that will help you function better in a classroom and perform more adequately as a human being
1. Improve your vocabulary. Four letter words starting with F and Sh should normally be avoided in ordinary interactions. Save them for special occasions.
2. Don't make a big deal of things that aren't a big deal. If someone bumps into your seat while walking past, let it go. It doesn't matter.
3. If you've done something wrong and it's pointed out, apologise quickly and that will probably be the end of it. Arguing it out will generally not help you.
4. If in doubt, do what the teacher has asked.
5. If you are a 12 year old boy, do not touch your female teacher in any way.
2. Don't make a big deal of things that aren't a big deal. If someone bumps into your seat while walking past, let it go. It doesn't matter.
3. If you've done something wrong and it's pointed out, apologise quickly and that will probably be the end of it. Arguing it out will generally not help you.
4. If in doubt, do what the teacher has asked.
5. If you are a 12 year old boy, do not touch your female teacher in any way.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
top 5 stupid things I've done in the last 24 hours
1. falling asleep at 8pm last night
2. waking up at 9.15pm, baking and blogging till 1am
3. not sleeping much between 1am and 5.30am (gym)
4. not eating lunch today (no time)
5. walking round the house for the last hour feeling everything is out of control and randomly bursting into tears. [Low blood sugar? Exhaustion?]
Happy face now, for dinner guests!
2. waking up at 9.15pm, baking and blogging till 1am
3. not sleeping much between 1am and 5.30am (gym)
4. not eating lunch today (no time)
5. walking round the house for the last hour feeling everything is out of control and randomly bursting into tears. [Low blood sugar? Exhaustion?]
Happy face now, for dinner guests!
Monday, October 12, 2009
top 5 things to do instead of cleaning the house
1. blog about how much house work I have to do
2. read blogs
3. decide to put on some music / a sermon to make the housework more enjoyable
4. spend an hour downloading stuff to listen to
5. blog about how I haven't done any housework yet
2. read blogs
3. decide to put on some music / a sermon to make the housework more enjoyable
4. spend an hour downloading stuff to listen to
5. blog about how I haven't done any housework yet
Monday, October 5, 2009
top 5 things I must do today
1. go to koorong and buy marriage prep books
2. sort sunday school for this weekend
3. buy a new landline phone (ours is broken and mobiles are costing us a fortune)
4. buy pjs for N and M
5. write a lyric for pp
2. sort sunday school for this weekend
3. buy a new landline phone (ours is broken and mobiles are costing us a fortune)
4. buy pjs for N and M
5. write a lyric for pp
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
5 great things
1. Living in Brisbane.
2. Having parents who live on the Gold Coast - and in Palm Beach - perhaps the nicest part of the Gold Coast.
3. Visiting my parents.
4. That we convinced Mum and Dad to get broadband internet a couple of years ago.
5. That Dad still has fast internet left at the end of the month and that I am down here using it up.
2. Having parents who live on the Gold Coast - and in Palm Beach - perhaps the nicest part of the Gold Coast.
3. Visiting my parents.
4. That we convinced Mum and Dad to get broadband internet a couple of years ago.
5. That Dad still has fast internet left at the end of the month and that I am down here using it up.
top 5 calorie-rich foods to get fat on
1. Butter chicken, rice and naan bread from a good Indian restaurant
2. Fresh, extra large choc-chip cookies from muffin break (or home baked)
3. Fresh white bread smothered generously with butter
4. Apple pie with lots of cream
5. Chocolate slice or just chocolate
2. Fresh, extra large choc-chip cookies from muffin break (or home baked)
3. Fresh white bread smothered generously with butter
4. Apple pie with lots of cream
5. Chocolate slice or just chocolate
Monday, September 28, 2009
top 5 paintings at Queensland Art Gallery
I know nothing about art. But these are the ones I like to look at most.
1. Vida Lahey Monday Morning (1912)
2. Chaim Soutine Man with ribbons (1921-22)
3. Pablo Picasso La Belle Hollandaise (1905)
4. Sam Fullbrook Ernestine Hill (1970)
5. Fred Williams Yan Yean (1970)
If I could add more to my list, they'd be:
Russell Drysdale Bushfire (1944)
Jon Molvig A twilight of women (1957)
Not sure what this says about my taste. As I say, I know nothing.
1. Vida Lahey Monday Morning (1912)
2. Chaim Soutine Man with ribbons (1921-22)
3. Pablo Picasso La Belle Hollandaise (1905)
4. Sam Fullbrook Ernestine Hill (1970)
5. Fred Williams Yan Yean (1970)
If I could add more to my list, they'd be:
Russell Drysdale Bushfire (1944)
Jon Molvig A twilight of women (1957)
Not sure what this says about my taste. As I say, I know nothing.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
top 5 things that Joel likes about his Mum
1. She doesn't always get in the way when I'm doing things
2. She bought me a puppy
3. She lets us watch TV (when Daddy isn't here)
4. She lets me do craft (with sticky tape)
5. She buys things for me (like food)
2. She bought me a puppy
3. She lets us watch TV (when Daddy isn't here)
4. She lets me do craft (with sticky tape)
5. She buys things for me (like food)
top 5 things that are annoying Joel right now
1. Mummy (because she cancels my computer turns all day every day)
2. Mummy (because she doesn't let me go on the internet)
3. Mummy (because she doesn't let me have my computer turn when my friend is here)
4. TV (because we can't watch anything that's good)
5. Mummy (because she doesn't let me use flour and milk to make goop)
2. Mummy (because she doesn't let me go on the internet)
3. Mummy (because she doesn't let me have my computer turn when my friend is here)
4. TV (because we can't watch anything that's good)
5. Mummy (because she doesn't let me use flour and milk to make goop)
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