For us, our God became a man,
Eternal before time began,
He left his throne of grace,
Took feeble flesh in his embrace.
For us he walked upon the earth
For us as servant, labored, toiled
Cried bitter tears and prayed
'Forgive them' as his life he gave.
For us, for us
[something else...]
Behold his love, his bloodstained brow
The piercing spear, his life poured out
To wash away our shame
To pay our debt, to take our blame.
For us, the saviour bled and died
For us, he stands in vict'ry raised
And now this cursed cross
Becomes the tree of life for us
For us the fear of judgement's gone
We're sheltered, safe within his love
His welcome, open arms
Are branches keeping us from harm.
We bid the dragons of despair
depart, for sin and Satan's snares
no longer haunt our hearts.
All things are his and he's for us.
sar 2009
Two Questions.
1. Can I get away with 'dragons' in verse 3?
2. Would you sing it?
1. No.
ReplyDelete2. Only if I can change "dragons" to "flagons"... or "wagons", or "staghorns"
My two cents...(and I freely admit I have no talent whatsoever in creating poetry, so my talent in critiquing it going to be no better)
ReplyDelete1. No...because though dragons may be scary, they're also sort of a delightful and magical sort of scary.
2. Well, I don't sing any hymns in church...but I certainly would enjoy singing the first two verses at home. :) I don't know about the third one. It's not just the dragons, I don't know that I understand about branches keeping us from harm...and though the meaning of the last line is obvious, "he" comes a bit too soon after Satan.
(Too soon for my mind not to be distracted contemplating the fact every time I sing it.
ReplyDeletei would very much love to sing the word 'dragons'
ReplyDelete'Dragons' could be an S word like 'spectors' or 'serpents'.
ReplyDelete'Branches' is a surprising image for me.
I like it, I really think it's pretty, but maybe too pretty to sing at my church.
1. Yes
ReplyDelete2. Depends on the tune
3. I like 'branches' - if we're on the same wavelength it's the branches of that tree clinging to the cliff-face that break your fall?