Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Perhaps you want me to die of unrelieved boredom while you keep on talking.

The Luther Insult Generator

Got to get me one of these!

Thanks Gary.

Facebook Rule of Thumb:

If a status update has the word repost in it, do not repost it.

It may seem cute now, but when you group up you'll see that that post with the cute little hearts declaring you to be a lover of friends/cats/mothers/garden gnomes was tacky and a precious waste of cyberspace.

Watch out!

I have a bad case of recorder rage.

I thought I was going pretty well.

I got through 3 and a half year four recorder lessons, without loosing my cool. Then all of a sudden it was too much.

Please note the following.
1. The little black dots on the page are put in certain positions for a reason. Please take note of exactly where they are positioned. It matters.
2. When I ask you to play a G, it matters how many fingers you put down. Last lesson I told you that you need your thumb and three fingers for G. Things haven't changed in a week.
3. Don't play it faster than the rest of the class just because you can. I don't think you are smart. I think you are annoying.
4. Many kids have moved from the green star level, through the blue star level and on to the red star level in the last month. If your name isn't on my honour board yet, don't sigh. It's because you haven't practiced at home at all. Learn to play Lucy *&$^@% Locket and you'll get an award. It's not hard.
5. I will fail you if you don't learn to play recorder this semester. Your mum may say that she doesn't want to hear you playing at home, but I'm guessing that she'd prefer to put up with a bit of recorder noise than to see a big fat D on your report. I will do it. (And no mercy to mums who complain about recorder noise. What do you know about recorder rage? Try thirty of them all at once for 2 hours! And at least your kid is practicing. In each group of 30 I have to listen to, 7 have never ever practiced at home and only hit correct notes by sheer fluke. Imagine what that sounds like! Imagine my very tenuous hold on sanity and don't come here whinging to me about 5 minutes of noise from a single recorder!)

6. To my good kids (30 of you!) I love that you are so keen. I love that you practice right through first and second breaks every day. And I love that your play area is a long way from my classroom. Unfortunately, the rest of the school staff are over it. Because of your diligence they are thinking very bad things about me. Maybe you should take your recorders to the back of the oval and practice there.

I yelled. I wanted to belt kids with recorders (I didn't.) I wanted to cry. I went and vented to the strings teacher who understood. Violin rage is a very real thing too.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Have I sold out as a parent?

Tell me the truth. Is this a bad parent thing or just finding a way through a problem.

Son #2 has always responded to incentives.

Son #2 has not been practicing his bass clarinet.

Son #2 has always wanted to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Son #2 gets to watch one Buffy episode with me for every 40 minutes of (quality) practice he does.

Son #2 practiced for over 2 hours on the weekend. His teacher was amazed at his progress.

Son #2 is 10. My desire for him to practice his clarinet is clearly greater than my desire for his mind to stay free from vampires, monsters, witches and demon-slaying teenage girls in short skirts.

Dear World.

Let's stop using the word journey as a metaphor.

It's old. It's vomit inducing.

Your kid is starting school. Let's not call it a 'learning journey'.

You have a cold. Why would you call it a 'journey'?

You're getting married (congratulations!). Please don't tell me that you've found a travel mate for the 'journey of life'.

Have mercy on me. Find a fresh metaphor or just say it as it is.

Sign my petition. 

Together we can make the world a better place.


Monday, February 27, 2012

This is the best article that I've ever read on dyslexia

You should all read it. Teachers especially.

The past two decades have witnessed an explosion in our understand- ing of dyslexia (or specific reading disability), the most common and most carefully studied of the learning disabilities. We first review the core concepts of dyslexia: its definition, prevalence, and devel- opmental course. Next we examine the cognitive model of dyslexia, especially the phonological theory, and review empiric data suggest- ing genetic and neurobiological influences on the development of dyslexia. With the scientific underpinnings of dyslexia serving as a foundation, we turn our attention to evidence-based approaches to diagnosis and treatment, including interventions and accommoda- tions. Teaching reading represents a major focus. We first review those reading interventions effective in early grades, and then re- view interventions for older students. To date the preponderance of intervention studies have focused on word-level reading; newer stud- ies are beginning to examine reading interventions that have gone beyond word reading to affect reading fluency and reading compre- hension. The article concludes with a discussion of the critical role of accommodations for dyslexic students and the recent neurobio- logical evidence supporting the need for such accommodations. 


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Yeah, I know I should be embarrassed and all...

... but I'm loving the political soap opera.

After tomorrow's ballot everything will be boring again. Kevin will be chained to his naughty chair. Julia will be pretending that we care about what she says.

Tony will be rubbing his hands together excitedly.

All very dull until Kevin breaks loose...

Julia, Kevin, Tony... Until you can come up with some inspiring policies, please keep the drama going.


Six months in a leaky caucus #respillsongs

Still haven't found who I'm voting for #respillsongs

Rudd on the tracks - Bob Dylan #respillsongs

Tears in Kevin - Eric Clapton #respillsongs

Rudd will tear us apart - #respillsongs 

Rudd, Rudd Whine #respillsongs

Monday Ruddy Monday #respillsongs 

Manic Monday. #respillsongs

"I see Rudd" #respillsongs

Down Among the Dead Men #respillsongs

I can get no (satis)factions #respillsongs

Peter Garrett serenades Caucus with "Short Memory" #respillsongs

You're so vain, you probably think this party's about you, don't you.@latikambourke #respillsongs

No Joy Division here "Rudd will tear us apart..." #respillsongs

"Rudd, Rudd Whine" #respillsongs

Am I ever gonna see you face again #respillsongs

(Tell me why) I don't like Monday's #respillsongs

I will come for you at night time (Washington Time) #respillsongs

'Julia' - The Beatles #respillsongs

The fool on the hill #respillsongs

Julia's got a gun #respillsongs

Murder on the Caucus Floor #respillsongs

Can you Feel the Knives Tonight #respillsongs

Don't Cry For Me Albanese #respillsongs

Dancing Crean #respillsongs

"Do you really want to usurp me?" #respillsongs

Against All Odds #respillsongs

While My Electorate Gently Weeps #respillsongs

"Imagine there's no Kevin" #respillsongs

Apocolypse Now - The full soundtrack #respillsongs

Saturday, February 25, 2012

WW series 7

Just finished.

Feeling a bit teary.

Anthony Albanese

What a great name.

1. Top of the alphabet, whichever way you order.
2. Nicely alliterated.
3. Rhymey.

Imagine a skipping chant...

Anthony Albanese
said 'Kevin, Kevin pleasey,
Be our PM,
Try it again!'
Anthony Albanese

Friday, February 24, 2012

I taught year 1 today

It's been a while.

You really don't need to go to the toilet so often.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Dear Kevin,

I warm to you as a person and politician. Really, I do. I like that you like Bonhoeffer. I like that your face is round and that you smile. I like the way you talk to the camera and that you are in control of your pitch and pronunciation. I had high hopes for you as prime minister. I thought your apology to the stolen generations was thorough and superb.

I was disappointed when the greatest moral issue for our time became not so important to you. I was mad, but I probably would have gotten over it in time for the next election - especially if you had tried again.

I, like most of Australia, was cross with the way you were deposed by Julia Gillard and your own party. I thought it was premature. But that's the way our system works. We didn't elect you. We elected your party and they elected you. Then they un-elected you.

I was cross and I've never developed any affection for Julia. I understand that you've lost a lot of face through all that's happened and that must suck. You feel hurt. You think you've been wronged. Naturally you want justice. You want your old job back.

Kevin, I feel for you. I like you. I'm on your side.

But I don't think you should be prime minister. You colleagues all seem to agree that you are not a very nice person to work with. JG says that when you were PM she did all of the work. Many say that you are not a team player and seem unable to think beyond yourself. Others say that you were erratic and angry.

Have you considered that you might have a narcisstic personality disorder? 

Follow that link, read the page (or better still, get your friends/family/acquaintances to read the page) and have a good, long, think.

Yours in democracy,

Simone R.

My son's take on this Rudd/Gillard mess.

Read his thoughts here.

I love how his writing style is developing.

I love that he's loving the circus.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Kevin Rudd has stepped down as foreign minister.

Fun times.

Not that I'd know, but here are some options for what might happen.

1. Rudd does the sums and works out that he doesn't have the numbers. So he quits politics explaining that he can't work under JG. We have an election and Tony Abbott wins.

2. Rudd does the sums and works out he does have the numbers. He challenges in an open way - not quite like JG did last time. He wins and we have a fresh start before the election and labor has a chance of winning.

3. Gillard does her sums and works out she has the numbers. She challenges him for the leadership and wins. Rudd moves to the backbench and sits and stews quietly. Things mumble along and labor goes down big time in the election.

I rather like option 2.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

15 signs that you'll get divorced

1. If you're a woman who got married before the age of eighteen, your marriage faces a 48 per cent likelihood of divorce within ten years.
2. If you're a woman who wants a child much more strongly than your spouse does, your marriage is more than twice as likely to end in divorce as the marriages of couples who agree on how much they do or don't want a child.

3. If you have two sons, you face a 36.9 per cent likelihood of divorce, but if you have two daughters, the likelihood rises to 43.1 per cent.
4. If you're a man with high basal testosterone, you're 43 per cent more likely to get divorced than men with low testosterone levels.
5. If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are 22.7 per cent more likely to divorce before that child turns eight years old than parents of a child without ADHD.
6. If you are currently married but have cohabited with a lover other than your current spouse, you are slightly more than twice as likely to divorce than someone who has never cohabited.
7. If you didn't smile for photographs early in life, your marriage is more likely to end in divorce than if you smiled intensely in early photographs.
8. If your child has died after the twentieth week of pregnancy, during labour, or soon after labour, you are 40 per cent more likely to divorce than if you had not lost a child.
9. If you're a woman who has recently been diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis, your marriage is six times more likely to end in divorce than if your husband had been diagnosed with those diseases instead.
10. If you're a Caucasian woman and you're separated from your spouse, there's a 98 per cent chance that you'll be divorced within six years of that separation. If you're a Hispanic woman, the likelihood is 80 perc ent. If you're an African-American woman, the likelihood is 72 per cent.
11. If you're a dancer or choreographer, you face a 43.05 per cent likelihood of divorce, compared with mathematicians, who face a 19.15 per cent likelihood, and animal trainers, who face a 22.5 per cent likelihood.
12. If you're a farmer, you face only a 7.63 per cent likelihood of divorce, joined by other low-risk occupations such as nuclear engineers, who face a 7.29 per cent likelihood, and optometrists, who face a mere 4.01 per cent likelihood.
13. If either you or your spouse have suffered a brain injury, your marriage faces a 17 per cent chance of ending in divorce.
14. If you're an African-American woman, your first marriage has a 47 per cent likelihood of ending in divorce within ten years; for Hispanic women, the likelihood is 34 per cent; for Caucasian women, it's 32 per cent; for Asian women, it's 20 per cent.
15. If you're a woman serving actively in the military, your marriage is 250 per cent more likely to end in divorce than that of a man serving actively in the military.
from here.

Monday, February 20, 2012

New song. What do you think?

Hope of the ages, light of the world
Born a baby, a beacon in darkness
Into the silence, God speaks his word
And the angels alight singing Glory!
All history hinges here
This the day that the prophets longed to see
Earth raised and heaven near
Christ is born! God is with us! Immanuel!
How can a stable house this new king?
Could the whole of creation contain him?
Hills bow in worship, rocks rise and sing!
Let the earth burst forth with his praises!
The great author of life
writes himself in the pages of history,
To free us from our strife
Christ is born! God is with us! Immanuel!
Rest for the weary, sight for the blind
And new life giv’n to all who’ll believe him
Drink from this fountain, feast on his word
Come, step out of the darkness, receive him!
Into the black of night
Hope has come, God the Son, living here with us!
Shining eternal light!
Christ is born! God is with us! Immanuel!

sar 2012

Rudd/Gillard mess

I'm on Kevin's side.

I know he's probably a narcissistic pain in the neck, but ever since Julia Gillard went back on her word re. pokies reform, I've been wanting her out.

If she was the ALP option, I'd even consider voting for the coalition in the next election. (It would be the first time.)

So go Kevin.


Is there another option?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sunday night experimental dinner

Spinach meatloaf and roasted veg damper. Yum!

Shocking News : Potential Primary School Nit Plague

Dear School,

It was with shock and concern that I read in the newsletter that a case of head lice has been detected in the school. Following your advice, I am avoiding alarm but agree that immediate action must be taken.

There has been much discussion about this development throughout the parent body and it seems that the outbreak at this stage may be confined to a few classes in the lower school. In order to avoid a wider problem, can I suggest the following as a way forward.

1. Prep to year 3 to be considered under quarantine for the next three weeks. Students (and their siblings) should undertake distance education during this time.
2. After the three weeks is up, students must see a doctor/hairdresser and have their lice-free status confirmed by certificate.
3. Random on-the-spot lice checks to be carried out by admin staff daily for the next two months. Students with lice in their hair will be immediately excluded.

I have diligently checked my children's heads and have found that they are clear. I trust that your school head lice management policy will ensure that they stay this way.


A. Parent

Saturday, February 18, 2012

WW series 6... a day.

Well, almost. 32 hours.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Overcome by my own administrative awesomeness.

GTD? Who needs it!

My systems at work this year are incredible. So far I haven't lost anything. I should write a book.

I teach 13 different classes across 4 year levels. And run some extra-curricula stuff. How do you imagine that I manage all the planning, paperwork, marking, records etc for all of these classes and activities? Let me tell you.

For each year level that requires paper (not little kids) I have 2 displays folders. One is called 'stuff I've given out - masters' and the other is called 'stuff I've given out - copies'. In the masters folder I keep two copies of everything (just in case) and in the copies folder I put the handouts before I've given them to the kids and then any leftovers after I've distributed them. In the back of the copies folder I put completed work that I'm marking. I also have a clipboard holding a printed copy of my e-markbook. I write on it during the day then transfer stuff to my computer during staff meeting in the afternoon.

Tonight I've finished making my junior choir name tags. We start rehearsing at 7.45am and school starts at 8.20 so there is no time to waste marking 60 names off a roll. Instead, the kids collect a name tag as they walk into the room. I gather up the name tags that aren't collected and mark those kids absent on my choir roll during staff meeting after school. Magic.

I am almost overcome by my administrative awesomeness. My system last year was reasonably effective* but this year's is beyond anything I've seen done before. For a small sum I can tell you the best type of display folders to use. Or you may prefer to wait for my book.

 The folder of doom contained every piece of paper/piece of choir music/confiscated love letter that I had collected/copied/handed out over the year. If kids lost anything, they had to search through the folder of doom to find a copy. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

seven things.

  • The marriage books are right: make time for each other, learn good communication skills, talk about issues, be nice to each other... All obvious but really important.
  • Practice on the small stuff - who will wash the dishes, who will vacuum the floor - because bigger issues are coming and you need to have the skills to deal with them. (Paying for someone else to clean your house in the pre-kid stage may not help you long term.)
  • Flatmates are easier to live with than spouses. Don't think your marriage will be fine just because you lived together for a couple of years.
  • Money doesn't fix things.
  • A career won't make you happy.
  • Kids won't keep you together.
  • It really sucks when it all falls apart.

We're sorry (so, so sorry) but unsurprised.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
eLove is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it jis not irritable or resentful;2 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. mLove bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things.

    Sunday, February 12, 2012

    Nicodemus story

    I was really pleased with how Sunday school went this morning. I felt like I was able to hold the kids through a somewhat abstract story. I made this into a big book and ad-libbed around it. Feel free to use it (print it out or beam it up) if you ever have to teach this chapter.

    Saturday, February 11, 2012

    Our Christmas tree came down today

    6 weeks late.

    It was stressing me out. Another job not done. I don't put Christmas trees up or take Christmas trees down. The kids are responsible. But I've not had the time or energy to insist that it be taken down.

    I had a brainwave at 4am this morning. I got up and wrote the kids a note, "No electronic media today until the christmas tree is taken down and put away properly."

    (I also added 'half hour computer time = 15 minutes instrument practice.)

    I woke up to the sound of a trombone and cello.


    Friday, February 10, 2012

    Priscilla and Aquilla center conference

    I'm listening to the 2012 talks.

    Did anyone go?

    Thursday, February 9, 2012


    We've tasted the first fruits of the spirit. We want more.

    Romans 8:23

    Where has my comments widget gone?

    Always good to find a theological justification for laziness and disorganisation

    Today I was busy cooking dinner at 3pm. I pointed out to the kids how awesome a mother I must be to be onto it so early (6.30 is normal.) Nathan said it was a risk to make dinner then. Jesus might come back sometime in the afternoon and my efforts would have been wasted.

    Great thinking.

    Christ brings all things back again.

    What does this mean, "I bring all things back?" Surely, that nothing is lost. In Christ all is gathered up and kept, everything in a transformed state, purified, and set free from agonising selfishness of desires. Christ brings all this back again, but in the form that God had intended it from the beginning, unstained by our sins."

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in a letter to Eberhard Bethge, December 1943.

    Amen. Maranatha.

    Wednesday, February 8, 2012

    Tell me.

    How hard is it to make a patchwork quilt?

    I'd like a nice big one for our bed.

    I have no skills in sewing, no ability to read instructions, no staying power and no attention to detail. Is a quilt beyond me?

    Piper on 'does Christianity have a feminine feel?'

    He didn't answer the question in the same way that I did (below).

    Have a listen - from 5:12 to 8:50.

    Piper says that a community with a 'strong masculine feel' creates a space that is big and roomy and has space in it for many feminine feels. A man who is prominently masculine can also be appropriately feminine. A woman who is prominently feminine, can also be appropriately masculine. He defines what he means by masculine and feminine.

    Masculine = having backbone, being articulate and thoughtful
    Feminine = being tender, kind, nurturing, warm, artistic, liking to write.

    Trying to work it out... The overall vibe of Christianity (by which I think he means the Christian community) is to be masculine - tough, backbone, powerful, authoritative. "Strong singing primarily led by men, and then a voice from God is heard."

    So it's not just about having men in leadership roles, it is about those more 'manly' qualities being on display. It wouldn't be right for an artsy guy to be leading a church in an artsy way. He might be being inappropriately feminine. But maybe if he were to do that more in the background, in an overall context of 'manliness', it would be okay. Is that it?

    Piper is winsome and eloquent and I have sympathy for what he is saying, but I don't think his categories of masculinity and femininity are biblical. Am I wrong? Point me to verses.

    Piper is advocating more than just that men should occupy leadership roles in church. He may not be after a culture where all men play football, but I think he is saying that that the stereotypical man vibe is to dominate our experience of Christianity.


    Tuesday, February 7, 2012

    Monday, February 6, 2012

    Six observations about men in ministry

    In one way or another, I spend quite a bit of time hanging out with men who work in full time ministry. Over time I’ve noticed that the same themes keep on coming up in our discussions. A friend suggested it might be good blog fodder. So here are a handful of observations. What do you think?

    1. The house of cards is balancing precariously. Be afraid.
    Men in ministry are desperately afraid. Afraid that the minister in the next suburb will steal your congregation, afraid that your people won’t like you, afraid that the other ministers in your denomination will think you are incompetent, compromised, heretical or ungodly. Things may look like they are holding things together, but it is all so precarious if could collapse at any moment. And you will have failed.

    2. The house of cards is balancing precariously. Watch out.
    Men in ministry have a tendency towards paranoia. People are out to get you. You have a small (and shrinking) group of people that you trust and everyone outside that group is treated with suspicion. Especially other men in ministry. The fact that they don’t do things in exactly the same way as you means that they don’t like your way. They think you are wrong (or worse, incompetent. Or maybe even heterodox.) Many of them will knock your house of cards over if they get the chance.

    3. The house of cards is balancing precariously. Don’t strengthen your neighbour’s house.
    Because you are so afraid that your own house will tumble, your ability to praise your neighbour’s construction skills are seriously depleted. You feel that to affirm the work of the minister in the next church will upset some delicately balanced system and cause your own work to fall (also true of co-workers.) Praising your underlings (who you don't perceive as a threat) or those in non-competing ministries is possible, but praising your peers... almost impossible.

    4. What you want more that almost anything else is to be told you are doing a good job. With specifics. And you want your peers to do it. (But they won’t, because they are afraid that it will somehow knock their own house over (see #3).)

    5. Ministers are emotionally muted around their collegues. There is shame in admitting weakness. Shame in struggling with doubts, shame in struggling with anger or sexual temptation, shame in admitting incompetence. So you don’t share anything much at all. This creates a weird self-protective dynamic. You both have PhDs in NT, surely you've got interesting stuff to talk about! No. It seems not.

    6. Indentity issues are big. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who defines themselves more by what they do than ministers. Your whole self perception is wrapped up in your job. Fail at it and you’ve lost everything. You think that your friends wouldn’t like you any more if you were no longer the hot shot preacher you think they think you are. And if you’re a second generation minister there’s another bag of issues to sort through. If your dad is someone with whom you fundamentally agree, then how do you assert your independence from him?


    Sunday, February 5, 2012

    What I love about blogging #867

    That I can have a whole lot of people over in my lounge room at once.

    The guys go hang out in the family room and bash heads over theological issues (I hand out band-aids, bandage up any broken bones and remind you all of the importance of getting along) and the girls sit on the lounge and talk about Malory Towers books. I'm equally invested in both discussions.

    Malory Towers Mega Quiz

    I spent yesterday with my good friend Cate. Cate and I share a love of literature - in particular, Malory Towers books. We're both up with our MT trivia. Probably equally as good. This quiz is a continuation of our discussion yesterday. Feel free to answer the questions if you can. No cheating. I wrote the questions without looking at the books. You answer them from your MT general knowledge.

    A. Books
    1. Which book number(s) have the word 'year' in the title?
    2. Which book number(s) have the word 'form' in the title?
    3. Which book number(s) have the word 'term' in the title?
    4. Which two books take place straight after each other (i.e. the terms run directly after each other.)
    5. In which two books was Darrell head of the form? In which 2 books was Sally head?

    B. Book 1
    1. List three new girls that come to MT in this book.
    2. Darrell has a problem with her temper. What does she do wrong?
    3. Who does Darrell befriend at first? Is this good? Why/why not?
    4. What does Sally Hope look like?
    5. What is Sally's problem? How does it resolve?
    6. Who rescues Darrell from the pool? How does she do it? What does she gain from this experience?
    7. Who is the form mistress? Name one other teacher.
    8. What is Darrell's father's occupation?
    9. What is the name of Gwendoline Mary's ex-governess?
    10. What tower does Darrell belong to?

    C.  Book 2
    1. Name 2 new girls and describe their talents and faults.
    2. By the end of the book, these new girls have paired up with someone. Name their partners.
    3. Who had a near death experience?
    4. Who stole things?
    5. Who is friends with a west tower girl?

    D. Book 3
    1. What is Mavis' talent? What is her fault? How is she cured?
    2. What is Bill's full name?
    3. What is the name of Bill's horse?
    4. Who is the form mistress?
    5. Who does Darrell meet before term begins? Where is she from? What does she imagine she's good at? What is she actually good at?

    E. Book 4
    1. What major stressful thing happens this term?
    2. Who played nasty tricks on who and why?
    3. What health problem did Clarissa have?
    4. What did Gwendoline do to try to escape the exams?
    5. Who had relatives begin at MT this term?

    F. Book 5
    1. Who wrote the script? Who wrote the music? Who was the conjurer?
    2. Which role did Gwendoline want? Who got this role?
    3. What responsibility did Moira have?
    4. Who was the blessed martyr?
    5. Which new girl got on everyone's nerves because she thought she was good at everything?

    G. Book 6
    1. Why did Amanda come to MT?
    2. What was she good at?
    3. What was wrong with her coaching methods?
    4. How did June help?
    5. Who was head girl? Who was sport's captain?

    H. Friends
    Name the friend of each of these girls.
    1. Sally
    2. Belinda
    3. Clarissa
    4. Alicia
    5. Mary-Lou

    Saturday, February 4, 2012

    God gave Christianity a feminine feel

    Ephesians 5
    22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

    In order to follow Christ, believers must become somewhat feminine. We respond to Christ as a wife responds to her husband - in obedient submission. There is no room in the church for alpha male types. Christ fulfils this role. He is our alpha.

    And he delights to choose people (male and female) who delight in being beta. Compare Jesus' encounters with Nicodemus (Jn 3) and with the Samaritan woman (Jn 4). Jesus was not pleased with Nicodemus' masculine competitiveness and took him down a peg or ten. He favoured the more feminine response of the Samaritan woman.

    God gave Christianity a feminine feel on purpose. Throughout history his choice has consistently been for the underdog - quiet, bookish Jacob over big hairy Esau , harp playing poet David over beefy Goliath, the village of Bethlehem over the city of Jerusalem, a stable over a palace... and now, the oppressed gender over the oppressor gender. It makes sense that Christianity has  a distinctly feminine feel. If one wants to be part of God's kingdom he/she will need to leave macho behind and  learn to submit to Christ as a woman does to her husband.     

    Of course to speak of Christianity having a feminine feel is silly. I want to stay in the complementarian camp, but Mr. Piper, you are making it really hard.

    Thursday, February 2, 2012

    Miracle Metaphors

    Metaphors have remarkable healing powers. They fix things.

    Andrew doesn't believe it*, but it's true.

    Here's how it works.

    1. You tell me about the rubbish day you've had, which is really just a symptom of the rubbish year you are having, which matches your whole rubbish life.
    2. I reflect back to you what you've told me using a nice metaphor.
    3. You feel listened to and understood. (Which, for many of us, is enough.)
    4. The metaphor helps you to see your troubles as something separate from you. It bundles them up neatly and ties them with a bow. Your problem becomes something that you can sit back and look at or walk around and examine from different angles.
    5. You gain the rationality to analyse things more objectively and see the way forward.
    6. You get on with life.


    * Andrew will argue that the problem still isn't fixed. I say it is because the real problem is not the situation itself, but the way that we become entangled in them. Ensnared. Metaphors free us.

    Wednesday, February 1, 2012

    Food on my dog

    You have to check out this blog. Karen says it's pointless (but hilarious). I say that the whole www was worth creating just for this.

    Note to self #395

    If a whiteboard marker doesn't work today, it won't work tomorrow. Don't leave it with the others, hoping for an overnight resurrection. Throw it away.