Here's how the argument goes:
Many people don't want to become Christians because it would interrupt their sexual activities. Sex is the most important thing in life, so this is unthinkable.
So we argue back: Becoming a Christian will make your sex life even better. Look, Christians are all for sex, God made it, God knows best, he tells us how to have really good sex. See here? We've got a whole book of the bible about it. Song of Songs. Christian erotica. (And guys, it talks about things you only dream about...)
Now, I'm into sex as much as the next person. I enjoy it. I enjoy talking about it. I enjoy writing about it. But.
I think we come at the whole apologetic thing from the wrong direction. Why not help people to see that sex is not the goal of life? Life people's eyes up, away from themselves and towards something bigger. Is the good-sex gospel going to cause us as many problems long term as the much-money gospel?
A few points.
- sex outside marriage is fun because of the adrenaline rush it gives. It's fun because it's dangerous. If people (particularly christian people) are mucking around outside marriage chances are that when they get married sex will be worse. They will need to learn to get a kick out of sex alone, not out of the adrenaline rush.
- Sex can take ages to get good at. Women have to get over their hangups with their bodies, guys need to learn patience and control. They need to trust each other. This is probably going to take years and years. The true-love-waits stuff which promises perfect wedding night sex is going to lead to disappointment. Trouble is, couples (and particularly women) blame themselves for their fumbling and even link it to godliness. 'If I was a better wife I'd be more willing/able to....' Ideas about submission get thrown into the mix and pain and guilt and despair escalates.
- Pressure to have great sex is a passion killer for women. It makes great sex (or any sex) unlikely to happen.
- Have we stopped talking about patience and kindness and joy and self control in marriage? Perhaps these things matter too...
- Sex is not for everyone. Apart from being untrue, a good-sex gospel is unkind to singles.