a hymn on hymns

1. in this hymn that I will write
inverted may each line be
much further on, the subject put
to hinder, thus the clarity.

2. one wonders why onto the end
of each line verbs are placeth
precarious they hang and I
am fearful they may falleth.

3. It, of course, is because the verb
of all words altered may be
a humble -eth or -oth be put
to make it rightly rhymey.

4. each word as written I can read
but who its meaning guesseth?
though schooling doth I have and more
I can’t, and I confesseth.

sar 2011

Inspired by The King Of Love My Shepherd Is

hypocrisy

I've been planning to write this post for the last month but haven't, cause it's a bit embarrassing. So, consequently, I haven't posted much at all. But time to end the silence.

I've been working on some hymn rewrites. In the past I've blogged passionately on how terrible it is to mess with someone else's work... and now I've done it. And to Wesley of all writers - who explicitly wrote that he didn't want anyone altering his words.

So come on. Condemn me.

Since he's long dead, legally I've not done anything wrong. But ethically? Does 200 years make a difference? And does motive matter? I'm trying to get (a version of) this particular hymn sung again. Because of its meter and language it won't be popular without a reworking. And I've given it a drastic one. Over 50% of the lines are mine.

Anyway. Tell me what you think. Am I a hypocrite? And can you pick apart the patchwork (without looking up the original) and guess which lines are mine and which are Wesley's?

Love Divine

O Love divine, what have you done!
My Lord, how can this be?
How could the ever living Son
Give up his life for me?
Nails through his hands, sword through his side
How could our God immortal die?
God instead of me!

Behold him, all as you pass by,
The Prince of life and peace!
Come, sinners, see your maker die,
And ask “What can this mean?”
Come feel with me his blood applied
Now guilt is gone, wrath satisfied
God instead of me!

Love divine, in my place
God of wonders, God of grace
God instead of me.
Love divine, bore my shame
no more guilt, no more blame
God instead of me
God instead of me

Then let us sit beneath His cross,
And catch the healing stream:
All things for Him account as loss,
We give our hearts to Him:
Of nothing think or speak beside,
My Lord, my maker, crucified!
God instead of me!

verse

Dear master, in whose life I see

All that I would, but fail to be,
Let thy clear light forever shine,
To shame and guide this life of mine.

Though what I dream and what I do
In my weak days are always two,
Help me, oppressed by things undone,
O Thou whose deeds and dreams were one!


John Hunter

verse

This is the famous stone
That turneth all to gold
For that which God doth touch and own
Cannot for less be told.

George Herbert, 1953-1632.

Thy way, not mine, O Lord

Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
However dark it be:
Lead me by thine own hand:
Choose out the path for me.

Smooth let it be or rough,
It will be still the best;
Winding or straight, it leads
Right onward to thy rest.

I dare not choose my lot;
I would not, if I might;
Choose thou for me, my God:
So shall I walk aright.

Take thou my cup, and it
With joy or sorrow fill,
As best to thee may seem;
Choose thou my good and ill.

Choose thou for me my friends,
My sickness or my health;
Choose thou my cares for me
My poverty or wealth.

Not mine, not mine the choice,
In things or great or small
Be thou my Guide, my Strength,
My Wisdom, and my All.

Horatius Bonar (1857)

cliche and songwriting

I've never read a book on songwriting before, but today I got this one from the library.

For someone who writes as much rubbish as I do, it's pretty cutting. There's a whole chapter devoted to cliche: cliche phrases, cliche rhymes, cliche metaphors, cliche images. There are pages and pages of cliches listed. I know them so well. I love them. I hate them.

I struggle more with cliche in Christian songs than other stuff. When writing for church, we're working with limited subject matter. And we have the added constraints that our words must be edifying and easily understood. The stream of fresh water quickly runs dry and I move to stagnant pools.

But it's a good book. Nice stuff on verse development and using rhyme well.

George Matheson's Story

If you are one of the many who come this way looking to find out about hymn writer George Matheson, can I suggest you go here. Start at the bottom of the page and read to the top. Great stuff.

expiry dates on christian songs

Nicole's Seventies Jesus post confirms my view that songs, and particularly christian songs, should come with used-by dates. Some songs are timeless but most aren't. Face the fact and ditch them before they become an embarrassment and make our faith seem silly.

Too harsh?

Jesus, Love So Fierce, So Strong (2)

I need to collapse this lyric into 3 verses. I planned to do a re-write combining verses 2 and 3 (cross and resurrection) but now wonder if anything would be lost if I just removed the 3rd verse (resurrection). Its content is not strictly necessary to my theme and there are problems with some of the words. I hesitate though, because Andrew liked this verse best (in fact, I think it may have been the only verse that he liked at all!)

Any ideas? The only bits I'm committed to are the title line and the first half of the last verse.


Jesus, love so fierce, so strong

Jesus, love so fierce, so strong
Stronger than the world for me,
Mighty, ever holding on
Hold me now, my refuge be.
Firm your arm and tight your hold
Though my hand is weak, unsure
Though my heart is bleak and cold
Yours is ever rich and warm.

Sorrow building, flooding waves
Tears of blood fall to the ground,
'Not my will but yours,' he prays
Takes the cup and grief rains down.
Love defying piercing thorns,
Jesus, what is this you've done?
Bloody nails and splintered cross
Oh what love, so fierce, so strong!

[Darkness, day is as the night,
Can the chords of death subdue?
Will the darkness drown the light?
Will the morning dawn anew?
Shouts of joy, an empty tomb,
Love a flame of hope within,
Hearts are burning with the news,
Christ alive, alive again!]

Jesus, love so fierce, so strong
Stronger than all fear within,
Love, an everlasting song
through our struggles, pain and sin.
Cast all darkened doubts away
They can never triumph long,
For within his arms we'll stay
Jesus, love so fierce, so strong!

SAR 2009

songs on abortion

We've just finished our Amos series at church and have a topical sermon this week on abortion. Question is, what songs go with a talk on abortion? I have some ideas but I'd be interested to see the direction others take it.

Any ideas?

John Wesley on poetics in his brother's hymns

Something to which we can aspire...

"May I be permitted to add a few words with regard to the poetry? Then I will speak to those who are judges thereof, with all freedom and unreserve. To these I may say, with-out offence, , 1. in these hymns there is no doggerel ; no botches ; nothing put in to patch up the rhyme ; no feeble expletives. 2. Here is nothing turgid or bombast, on the one hand, or low and creeping, on the other. 3. here are no cant expressions ; no words without meaning. Those who impute this to us, know not what they say. We talk common sense, both in prose and verse, and use no words but in a fixed and determinate sense. 4. Here are, allow me to say, both the purity, the strength, and the elegance of the English language; and, at the same time, the utmost simplicity and plainness, suited to every capacity. Lastly, I desire men of taste to judge, (these are the only competent judges,) whether there be not in some of the following hymns the true spirit of poetry, such as cannot be acquired by art and labour, but must be the gift of nature. By labour, a man may become a tolerable imitator of Spenser, Shakspeare, or Milton ; and may heap together pretty compound epithets, as pale-eyed, meek-eyed, and the like ; but unless he be born a poet, he will never attain the genuine spirit of poetry.

London Oct. 20 1779. JOHN WESLEY. From the preface to the 1780 hymn book.

Praize to teh Ceiling Cat

Praize to teh Ceiling Cat, teh almighty, teh king ov creashun!

Oh mah soul, praize him srsly, for him iz ur health an salvashun!

All ye hoo hear, nao to his houz go;

Praize him in happeh adorsahun.

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo ovar all things iz so amayzinly kewl,

Covrs yu undr him pawz, yea, so mield sustaineth!

Has yu not seen how yu desirez ever has been

Granted in wut him ordaineth?

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo has skerdly, amayzinly, made yu;

Helth has givd an, when heedlesly fallin, has stayd yu.

Wut ned or grief evr has faild ov relief?

Pawz ov him mercy did shade yu.

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo doez prospr ur sleep and defend yu;

Surely him goodnes an mercy him evryday attend yu.

Pondr anew wut teh Almighty Ceiling Cat can do,

If wif him luv befrend yu.

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when storm dem fyght r wagin,

Hoo, when teh windz madly around yu r ragin,

Biddeth dem stop, turneth dem fury too piece,

Storm an waters eaes.

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when darknes ov teh Basement Cat iz aboundin,

Hoo, when teh godless do triumf, all virtoo stoppin,

Sheds him light, eatd teh horrors ov nite,

Kittehs wif him merci surroundin.

Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, oh let all dat iz in me adore him!

All dat iz life an breath, come nao wif praisez before him.

Let teh amen sound frum his peeps agin,

Gladly for yez we adore him.

Love it!

trace the rainbow through the rain

UPDATE: IF YOU'VE EVER HEARD THIS HYMN SUNG YOU'LL NEED TO FORGET THE TUNE IN ORDER TO APPRECIATE THE WORDS. ANDREW JUST GAVE ME A RENDITION. EW.

O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

George Matheson (1842-1906)


And this from a blind man!