Sunday, June 14, 2009


Planets should spin straight
Little is not big enough
U r not like us
The edges are dangerous
Orbits matter

sar 2009


  1. I don't like the "U r not like us". Surely you could be grammatically correct while maintaining the same rhythm and acrostic pattern.

  2. I quite like the break in rhythm. I want that line to stand out - in my imaginings the bully boy bigger planets are picking on pluto and this is their primary issue - pluto is different to them.

    I'm not keen on the 'r' for 'are'. Happy to change that.

    Nathan - glad to hear your opinion, though.