1. Tax returns
2. Bill paying
3. Car packing
4. Planning for any holiday except our regular trip to Caloundra
5. Yard work
If Andrew died, I'd have no access to cash (my fault, not his), no electricity, no gas and no internet (!). We'd go on the same holiday each year, but everyone would need to gather their own stuff. The yard would be overgrown. Eventually the tax office would catch up with me, but it would take them a while because I wouldn't open the letters they sent.
None of this would be Andrew's fault. But I'd probably blame him anyway for enabling my helplessness.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Blogging graph
Just because I could.
This graph compares my number of blog posts per month (green) with Ben (purple), Al (orange), Andrew (brown) and Izaac (blue). I really wanted to put Nathan on, but I can't easily get monthly data off his blog. You can see the June blog-off spike clearly on Ben's line - mine is not so clear since I pulled out on day 8.
November should be a dip for me since I'll be away for half of it. See you all soon.
top 5 things I like about halloween
1. Jack-o-lanterns2. Jack-o-lanterns
3. Jack-o-lanterns
4. Jack-o-lanterns
5. Jack-o-lanterns
top 5 problems with halloween
1. It's an import. Not really part of our culture.
2. The idea of trick or treat is nasty. 'Give me a lolly or I'll do something bad to you!'
3. I'm good with dress ups and make believe, but it is a bit silly if you take it too seriously - as many people seem to.
4. I saw halloween pumpkins on sale for $24 each. This is a rip off. Another shop had the same pumpkins for $10 each. Could the whole event be about money?
5. I felt silly going into Kmart yesterday and buying a book in the twilight series from a checkout girl dressed up in her halloween vampire gear...
holidays!
Andrew is home after his longest ever absence - 6 days - and we are on holidays.
I won't post much during the next couple of weeks.
Tomorrow we are going camping here. I've been a little hesitant at the thought of using up a week of holidays camping, but this is 5 star camping. Resort camping. We'll be sleeping in tents, but that's about where the camping bit ends. I'll be swimming in the lap pool, using the gym, sitting undercover and ignoring the kids (they'll be able to amuse themselves pretty well on the water slides, in the indoor and outdoor playgrounds and games rooms).
Next Sunday we are going up to Caloundra again - staying at kings beach for the 8th year in a row!
Hope you have a fantastic couple of weeks.
I won't post much during the next couple of weeks.
Tomorrow we are going camping here. I've been a little hesitant at the thought of using up a week of holidays camping, but this is 5 star camping. Resort camping. We'll be sleeping in tents, but that's about where the camping bit ends. I'll be swimming in the lap pool, using the gym, sitting undercover and ignoring the kids (they'll be able to amuse themselves pretty well on the water slides, in the indoor and outdoor playgrounds and games rooms).
Next Sunday we are going up to Caloundra again - staying at kings beach for the 8th year in a row!
Hope you have a fantastic couple of weeks.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Top 5 rules for coping with adversity and leading a less offensive online life
When a bad thing happens...
1. It may feel good to yell the details to the world in a cathartic blog post. Don't do it. It will only make things worse.
2. You may think you'll just write the blog post to get things off your chest but not actually publish it. Mistake. Once it's written, the post will scream out to you 'Publish me, publish me!' It's cries will get louder and louder and more and more unbearable until you hit 'publish'. And don't kid yourself. If you've written the post, you will publish it.
3. If you really need to write something, use paper.
4. If paper doesn't satisfy and you fingers are itching for the keyboard, frame your thoughts in a list.
5. If the list doesn't satisfy, nothing will. Either slit your wrists or break rule 1.
1. It may feel good to yell the details to the world in a cathartic blog post. Don't do it. It will only make things worse.
2. You may think you'll just write the blog post to get things off your chest but not actually publish it. Mistake. Once it's written, the post will scream out to you 'Publish me, publish me!' It's cries will get louder and louder and more and more unbearable until you hit 'publish'. And don't kid yourself. If you've written the post, you will publish it.
3. If you really need to write something, use paper.
4. If paper doesn't satisfy and you fingers are itching for the keyboard, frame your thoughts in a list.
5. If the list doesn't satisfy, nothing will. Either slit your wrists or break rule 1.
blogging
Kutz called my blog 'lovely and personal'. I don't think I aimed to write a personal blog when I started out. I used to scoff at blogs that dwell in the minutiae of life*. And now I have one. But 'lovely and personal' makes it sound almost virtuous. Like a delicate flower...
*Just so you know, I had weetbix, allbran and strawberry yogurt for breakfast this morning.
*Just so you know, I had weetbix, allbran and strawberry yogurt for breakfast this morning.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I'm a LOTE teacher today!
Doko e ikimasuka?
School ni ikimas.
That's all I've got.
We might do music instead. Or maths.
School ni ikimas.
That's all I've got.
We might do music instead. Or maths.
My muscles are turning to jelly!
I haven't lifted anything heavy for 9 days. I haven't jogged or jumped since last week.
I've done 2 decent swims, but that won't help much.
Andrew, come home!
I've done 2 decent swims, but that won't help much.
Andrew, come home!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
wondering
I have quite a few fb friends that I barely know. I'm good with that. There's one guy I'm pretty sure I don't know at all. His friend request sat waiting for me to respond to for ages, then the other week I clicked yes just to get rid of it. He has 1400 friends and we have 6 in common. His initials are RB and he describes himself as a 'Sydney-based ethicist'. Does anyone know him? RB, do you read this blog? Do I know you, or are you just a random friend-collector?
top 5 dos and don'ts for wives
Ben points us to MD's marriage and men talk in which men are given a real beating. MD also has a marriage and women talk, in which he says some strongish stuff, but nothing compared to what he says to the men.
It's marriage prep season, so Andrew and I are doing quite a bit of thinking about marriage at the moment. If I had to give a talk to wives (ie. myself) and I wanted it to be fairly cutting, these would be my top 5 don'ts for making your marriage better.
And here are my top 5 'dos'...
Note the point that I didn't make. I think that one comes into #1, #2 and #5 of the 'don't' list, and #2, #3 and #4 of the 'do' list.
Pray for him as well.
Do you agree with my lists? What would you add/subtract?
*Hiding birthday and christmas presents is okay.
It's marriage prep season, so Andrew and I are doing quite a bit of thinking about marriage at the moment. If I had to give a talk to wives (ie. myself) and I wanted it to be fairly cutting, these would be my top 5 don'ts for making your marriage better.
Top 5 don'ts for wives
1. Don't be a cold hard b**c*. Look at your husband when he speaks to you. Smile at him. Be warm. Make an effort.
2. Don't be manipulative. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't play nasty games.
3. Don't hide stuff. Hiding something from your husband is a fairly good indication that you've crossed a line and done something wrong. If you don't want him to see the shop receipts or whatever, you probably need to repent*.
4. Don't be critical and naggy. Especially in front of others. It is disrepectful and unattractive.
5. Don't be lazy. Sometimes he'll need to carry you. Sometimes you'll need to carry him. That's okay, but make sure you are pulling your own weight whenever you can.
And here are my top 5 'dos'...
Top 5 dos for wives
1. Assume the best of your husband for as long as you can. Interpret his actions (and inactions), intentions and motives in the best possible light.
2. Make encouraging words your default.
3. Be affectionate and enthusiastic.
4. Have fun together.
5. Act or overlook. If he has a habit or something that irritates you, work out if it's worth speaking to him about. If it is, speak to him about it. If it's not, learn to overlook it.
Note the point that I didn't make. I think that one comes into #1, #2 and #5 of the 'don't' list, and #2, #3 and #4 of the 'do' list.
Pray for him as well.
Do you agree with my lists? What would you add/subtract?
*Hiding birthday and christmas presents is okay.
psalm 84
1How lovely are Your dwelling places,
O LORD of hosts!
2My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
3The bird also has found a house,
And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young,
Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts,
My King and my God.
4How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!
They are ever praising You. Selah.
5How blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
6Passing through the valley of Baca they make it a spring;
The early rain also covers it with blessings.
7They go from strength to strength,
Every one of them appears before God in Zion.
8O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
Give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah.
9Behold our shield, O God,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.
10For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside.
I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
12O LORD of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in You!
O LORD of hosts!
2My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
3The bird also has found a house,
And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young,
Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts,
My King and my God.
4How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!
They are ever praising You. Selah.
5How blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
6Passing through the valley of Baca they make it a spring;
The early rain also covers it with blessings.
7They go from strength to strength,
Every one of them appears before God in Zion.
8O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
Give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah.
9Behold our shield, O God,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.
10For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside.
I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
12O LORD of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in You!
Top 5 things I don't like about being a single mum
1. I can't go to the gym in the morning or the night
2. I eat chocolate slice for dinner, because I can't be bothered cooking.
3. I have to take the kids out on all the little errands. My usual practice of 2-3 trips to Woolworths a day is not viable.
4. There is no natural end to the day - normally Andrew will finish work and come upstairs.
5. There is no one else to tell the kids to be good. I unpacked the dishes myself because it was less draining than getting one of the kids to do it.
[Andrew is away for a mere 6 days. My list might look different if it was permanent. The items are in the order I thought of them.]
2. I eat chocolate slice for dinner, because I can't be bothered cooking.
3. I have to take the kids out on all the little errands. My usual practice of 2-3 trips to Woolworths a day is not viable.
4. There is no natural end to the day - normally Andrew will finish work and come upstairs.
5. There is no one else to tell the kids to be good. I unpacked the dishes myself because it was less draining than getting one of the kids to do it.
[Andrew is away for a mere 6 days. My list might look different if it was permanent. The items are in the order I thought of them.]
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
music and lyrics
I've held off watching this movie because I thought it would be dumb.
I've watched it now and can confirm that it is dumb.
Highlights? Um... Can't think of any. Maybe I missed them. I slept through probably a third of the movie.
Monday, October 26, 2009
something I learned today
When two eleven year old boys are talking about whether uncircumcised looks better than circumcised, it's not necessarily a conversation you need to shut down.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
wuthering heights
A few initial thoughts on Peter Bowker's adaptation of Wuthering Heights which was on the ABC tonight.
- Burn Gorman was fantastic as Hindley (but I'm a torchwood fan...)
- Cathy's character was given a very generous interpretation. Only once did she come across as a spoilt, selfish brat. Her love for Heathcliff came across as a deep and pure affection - rather than as the twisted thing it is in the book.
- From part one at least, Healthcliff is some kind of romantic hero. In the novel, the reader tries to position him as this and fails.
- Nelly comes across as more intelligent and insightful than she is in the book.
- Visually, very attractive.
- Thought the flashbacks were done pretty well.
Sydney
Andrew and I had a fantastic couple of days in Sydney. Andrew is still there - stressing about an assignment he has to put in tonight. I'm home alone for the week, realising that I can't do basic things like unlock the downstairs to get to the washing machine... Can we hold out till Friday?
Highlights of the weekend
1. Going round the harbor on Lara's dad's boat with Philip and his UK friends, Lara and Ben.
2. Introducing Andrew to my emu friends.
3. Having such a great time that Andrew and I both forgot it was my birthday. Surely, the best kind of birthday.
4. Singing at twist. Always good, but a little different this year. More piano - and a very nice piano, very nicely played.
5. The songwriting discussion thing that I was a part of with Micheal M, Rob S and Philip P. Jodie McNeil interviewed us and we chatted together about the songwriting process. We were worried it could be a bit self indulgent and boring for people to listen to but it was heaps of fun - for us at least! MM showed us the evolution of come hear the angels sing - which was so interesting, Rob introduced a new song (it had some nice alliteration), I spoke about traction in lyrics and Philip told us his AABA + x factor method.
6. Micheal Jensen's workshop on musical styles and church music and stuff. All good fun to argue over what it means to transform cultural styles for the gospel... Remains to be seen what practical use the discussion will be.
6. Fish and Chips at Manly. Thai with Rob and Claire.
Highlights of the weekend
1. Going round the harbor on Lara's dad's boat with Philip and his UK friends, Lara and Ben.
2. Introducing Andrew to my emu friends.
3. Having such a great time that Andrew and I both forgot it was my birthday. Surely, the best kind of birthday.
4. Singing at twist. Always good, but a little different this year. More piano - and a very nice piano, very nicely played.
5. The songwriting discussion thing that I was a part of with Micheal M, Rob S and Philip P. Jodie McNeil interviewed us and we chatted together about the songwriting process. We were worried it could be a bit self indulgent and boring for people to listen to but it was heaps of fun - for us at least! MM showed us the evolution of come hear the angels sing - which was so interesting, Rob introduced a new song (it had some nice alliteration), I spoke about traction in lyrics and Philip told us his AABA + x factor method.
6. Micheal Jensen's workshop on musical styles and church music and stuff. All good fun to argue over what it means to transform cultural styles for the gospel... Remains to be seen what practical use the discussion will be.
6. Fish and Chips at Manly. Thai with Rob and Claire.
Idol top 5
Kate had to go. Next week Toby should join her. Please.
James
1. Moved well. Good vocal. Overall, just not as gripping as it could have been. They say he's getting better and better, but I'm getting more and more bored.
2. Guitar playing not completely pointless. Should ditch the band, do it all himself. I'm less bored.
Toby
Nice guy, but so dull. Can we move on?
Nathan
1. Poppy and pitchy. Needs to gain 5 years and lose 5kg.
2. Better. Pitch still not there.
Hayley
1. What a star. Owns the stage and makes the backing singers look 5th rate.
2. Can we just say she's won now?
Stan
1. I sigh at the song choice but he did it okay. Pretty good in spots.
2. Dancing odd.
Order - Hayley, Stan, James, Nathan, Toby.
Dragged a bit. Could have done it in an hour. Don't care about their joy in seeing home again.
What did you think?
James
1. Moved well. Good vocal. Overall, just not as gripping as it could have been. They say he's getting better and better, but I'm getting more and more bored.
2. Guitar playing not completely pointless. Should ditch the band, do it all himself. I'm less bored.
Toby
Nice guy, but so dull. Can we move on?
Nathan
1. Poppy and pitchy. Needs to gain 5 years and lose 5kg.
2. Better. Pitch still not there.
Hayley
1. What a star. Owns the stage and makes the backing singers look 5th rate.
2. Can we just say she's won now?
Stan
1. I sigh at the song choice but he did it okay. Pretty good in spots.
2. Dancing odd.
Order - Hayley, Stan, James, Nathan, Toby.
Dragged a bit. Could have done it in an hour. Don't care about their joy in seeing home again.
What did you think?
Friday, October 23, 2009
andrew and I are on a plane
to Sydney this morning.
A big wave to southern readers.
You should all be at Twist tomorrow.
A big wave to southern readers.
You should all be at Twist tomorrow.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Open letter to Jason from Timmakeacut Information Technologies
Dear Jason,
Thank you for your many emails offering to design a website for me. Although I didn't ask for your services, you have been persistent in your offers to help. In another world, this might be commendable.
I do not now or at any stage in the future plan to take you up on your offer. My reason for this is simple. Your fonting.
It is awful. If you can't chose an attractive and readable font for a simple email, I clearly can not trust you to design an entire webpage.
Please do not send me any more emails. Your fonts choices make me queasy.
If you aspire to be successful spammer, I recommend that you improve in this area.
Yours,
Simone R.
Thank you for your many emails offering to design a website for me. Although I didn't ask for your services, you have been persistent in your offers to help. In another world, this might be commendable.
I do not now or at any stage in the future plan to take you up on your offer. My reason for this is simple. Your fonting.
It is awful. If you can't chose an attractive and readable font for a simple email, I clearly can not trust you to design an entire webpage.
Please do not send me any more emails. Your fonts choices make me queasy.
If you aspire to be successful spammer, I recommend that you improve in this area.
Yours,
Simone R.
today
1. Thought I wasn't going to survive RPM at the gym. Wondered how many people it would take to carry me out of the RPM room if I passed out and fell off my bike.
2. Said 'no' to three work requests for that school. (Yes, all for work today. Desperate times. Final one came at 8.50am - 'are you sure you can't work today?')
3. Bringing order to a chaotic home ahead of Sydney trip tomorrow. Have tidied, dusted and vacuumed. Still to mop and cook.
4. Need haircut. It's been 6 months.
5. Need to bath dog. She's going to grandma's for the weekend.
6. Friends coming for dinner tonight
7. Playing grown-ups tonight
8. Need to pack kids and us for weekend.
9. Need to work out what song I'll be talking about at Twist on Saturday. Suggestions? (Something I wrote.)
10. Go to bed - leave at 7am tomorrow morning.
2. Said 'no' to three work requests for that school. (Yes, all for work today. Desperate times. Final one came at 8.50am - 'are you sure you can't work today?')
3. Bringing order to a chaotic home ahead of Sydney trip tomorrow. Have tidied, dusted and vacuumed. Still to mop and cook.
4. Need haircut. It's been 6 months.
5. Need to bath dog. She's going to grandma's for the weekend.
6. Friends coming for dinner tonight
7. Playing grown-ups tonight
8. Need to pack kids and us for weekend.
9. Need to work out what song I'll be talking about at Twist on Saturday. Suggestions? (Something I wrote.)
10. Go to bed - leave at 7am tomorrow morning.
I've started something
The other day I posted 12 [sharable] things that I like about my husband. I wrote it after I had written a rather polemical comment on Izaac's blog against people raving about their marriages. Truth is, I hate hearing people (preacher's mostly) dropping comments about how fabulous their marriages are. Especially when they are not balanced with details about how they suck as a spouse. It comes across as very thinly veiled boasting.
Even lists about how great our partner's are is moving towards dangerous territory. Hopefully I didn't cross the line. Nathan's still reading, which is a good sign, because he has a sensitive stomach when it comes to personal sharing.
Anyway, others have jumped on board and are writing lists too. Check out Ben's, Amy's, and Soph's. Any others I haven't noticed yet?
Even lists about how great our partner's are is moving towards dangerous territory. Hopefully I didn't cross the line. Nathan's still reading, which is a good sign, because he has a sensitive stomach when it comes to personal sharing.
Anyway, others have jumped on board and are writing lists too. Check out Ben's, Amy's, and Soph's. Any others I haven't noticed yet?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Glass half full?
We do warm up questions at bible study. Kind of like Ben's Monday quiz, but shorter and without the cool graphic.
This week's questions were:
1. Favourite breakfast food?
2. Why do people smoke?
3. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Here are my answers.
1. Cereal
2. Because they don't give a stuff
3. Neither. It's either overflowing or completely empty.
How would you answer?
This week's questions were:
1. Favourite breakfast food?
2. Why do people smoke?
3. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Here are my answers.
1. Cereal
2. Because they don't give a stuff
3. Neither. It's either overflowing or completely empty.
How would you answer?
on refugees
The way we (ie. people on talkback radio) speak about refugees, you'd think that we deserve to live here in Australia. That it's because of things we've done that we have such easy lives. That we are more worthy of health and comfort than the rest of the world.
I didn't build any of the roads I drive on. I didn't grow the food I eat. Like most Australians, I work a little and have an awful lot given to me just because I was lucky enough to be born here. The prosperity we enjoy comes to us as gift.
We should be grateful and ready to share.
I didn't build any of the roads I drive on. I didn't grow the food I eat. Like most Australians, I work a little and have an awful lot given to me just because I was lucky enough to be born here. The prosperity we enjoy comes to us as gift.
We should be grateful and ready to share.
I love...
... the cathartic effect of writing.
Last week I was feeling horrible - depressed, miserable, yuck. I moped for days then wrote six words describing my state: I'm a mess at the moment. Within ten minutes it was over. Back to my normal, chirpy self. Was it the 4 closely occuring 'm' sounds that did it?
Is it wrong to be so [pathetically/delightfully] shallow that a single sentence can cheer me up?
Last week I was feeling horrible - depressed, miserable, yuck. I moped for days then wrote six words describing my state: I'm a mess at the moment. Within ten minutes it was over. Back to my normal, chirpy self. Was it the 4 closely occuring 'm' sounds that did it?
Is it wrong to be so [pathetically/delightfully] shallow that a single sentence can cheer me up?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
MJ on musical styles
12 [sharable] things that I like about my husband
1. That he's a Christian.
2. That he's married to me.
3. That he can do stuff, like build a room under the house and hook up a tv and change a light globe.
4. That he's not the slightest bit controlling.
5. That he is tall.
6. That he is stronger than me, even though I work out and he doesn't.
7. That he needs to shave every day and he does shave every day.
8. That he can beat me in an argument.
9. That he is kind and doesn't put me down ever.
10. That we have fun together.
11. That it's 5.32pm and he's fine with the fact that I've made no plans for dinner.
12. That I'm pretty sure he'd choose me again if he had the choice.
2. That he's married to me.
3. That he can do stuff, like build a room under the house and hook up a tv and change a light globe.
4. That he's not the slightest bit controlling.
5. That he is tall.
6. That he is stronger than me, even though I work out and he doesn't.
7. That he needs to shave every day and he does shave every day.
8. That he can beat me in an argument.
9. That he is kind and doesn't put me down ever.
10. That we have fun together.
11. That it's 5.32pm and he's fine with the fact that I've made no plans for dinner.
12. That I'm pretty sure he'd choose me again if he had the choice.
no idol review this week
I fell asleep last night and missed most of it.
But I did catch Nathan singing Music of the Night. Great song, of course, and in his style. But I really didn't think he was great at all. Pitchy in parts and really, just not that good. Why were the judges raving so much?
What did you think?
But I did catch Nathan singing Music of the Night. Great song, of course, and in his style. But I really didn't think he was great at all. Pitchy in parts and really, just not that good. Why were the judges raving so much?
What did you think?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
new blogs on my sidebar
I've updated my sidebar blog list for the first time since February. Additions include:
A big thank you to everyone who takes the time to amuse me. If you're on my list, I'll click on you 20-30 times a day even if you don't update much.
* Lurkers, this is your call to come out of the shadows!
- my brother-in-law Phil, who writes on politcal stuff,
- prolific commenter Laetitia,who blogs occasionally,
- Sam and Soph who have a delightful line of colour up the top of their page,
- Al who commutes interstate to college,
- Wendy, missionary in Japan, currently on home assignment,
- Izaac, who has a z in his name, and
- Kutz, who is interesting, funny, competent and at our church.
A big thank you to everyone who takes the time to amuse me. If you're on my list, I'll click on you 20-30 times a day even if you don't update much.
* Lurkers, this is your call to come out of the shadows!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
community movie night
We're just home from an activities afternoon and movie night that our church ran in the park. It was great. Lots of people came and everything ran smoothly. I painted kids faces for over two hours. Full on. I was meant to be on balloon modelling, but face painting seemed a more desperate need*. There were four of us doing it. I specialised in Dalmatian and Spiderman faces. Not so good with pretty things like flowers and butterflies. Here's some of my work. It looked better before dinner.
* face painting also leaves you with some feeling in your fingers, unlike balloon modelling. Thanks Kutz.
* face painting also leaves you with some feeling in your fingers, unlike balloon modelling. Thanks Kutz.
I learnt a new term today
Globally gifted.
I'm not globally gifted. Wish I was.
I have big gaps in ongoing people management and administration.
I'm pretty good with short term projects. Pretty good with things I can do all by myself. Good in many up-front roles. Good at coming up with ideas. Very bad at asking people to do stuff. Atrocious at bill paying, form filling-out etc.
Churches want ministers who are globally gifted. Most will be disappointed.
I'm not globally gifted. Wish I was.
I have big gaps in ongoing people management and administration.
I'm pretty good with short term projects. Pretty good with things I can do all by myself. Good in many up-front roles. Good at coming up with ideas. Very bad at asking people to do stuff. Atrocious at bill paying, form filling-out etc.
Churches want ministers who are globally gifted. Most will be disappointed.
The trouble with work...
... is that it encourages me to put a dollar value on time. An amount of time is not worth a certain amount of money. This is silly.
It is ourselves we give, not our time. I give myself in service to this person or that task. It is the person I'm serving or the task that I'm doing that is important. Not how long it takes or how much money will be put into my account at the end of it.
If a task is worthwhile and I've committed myself to it, I should give myself ungrudgingly.
Raising a child is an important task. It could take 18 years or longer, but however long it takes, I will give myself to it out of love. Choosing the right birthday present for my husband could take a while, but it would be time well used.
This last week or so I've been bitter about the amount of time I've spent on church stuff. Counting hours is such a stupid thing to do. What do I expect? A pay cheque? The task I'm doing is worthwhile. I know that. We're not short of cash. Why don't I just get on with it?
It is ourselves we give, not our time. I give myself in service to this person or that task. It is the person I'm serving or the task that I'm doing that is important. Not how long it takes or how much money will be put into my account at the end of it.
If a task is worthwhile and I've committed myself to it, I should give myself ungrudgingly.
Raising a child is an important task. It could take 18 years or longer, but however long it takes, I will give myself to it out of love. Choosing the right birthday present for my husband could take a while, but it would be time well used.
This last week or so I've been bitter about the amount of time I've spent on church stuff. Counting hours is such a stupid thing to do. What do I expect? A pay cheque? The task I'm doing is worthwhile. I know that. We're not short of cash. Why don't I just get on with it?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Top 5 things that will help you function better in a classroom and perform more adequately as a human being
1. Improve your vocabulary. Four letter words starting with F and Sh should normally be avoided in ordinary interactions. Save them for special occasions.
2. Don't make a big deal of things that aren't a big deal. If someone bumps into your seat while walking past, let it go. It doesn't matter.
3. If you've done something wrong and it's pointed out, apologise quickly and that will probably be the end of it. Arguing it out will generally not help you.
4. If in doubt, do what the teacher has asked.
5. If you are a 12 year old boy, do not touch your female teacher in any way.
2. Don't make a big deal of things that aren't a big deal. If someone bumps into your seat while walking past, let it go. It doesn't matter.
3. If you've done something wrong and it's pointed out, apologise quickly and that will probably be the end of it. Arguing it out will generally not help you.
4. If in doubt, do what the teacher has asked.
5. If you are a 12 year old boy, do not touch your female teacher in any way.
purgatory
Yesterday I said I wouldn't work there...
Rejecting work is a risky thing. There is a good chance you won't be offered more for a while.
In this case, that's not so. I'm working there today.
Pray for me.
Rejecting work is a risky thing. There is a good chance you won't be offered more for a while.
In this case, that's not so. I'm working there today.
Pray for me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I have made a map of the NT world
I've needed this kind of thing for ages. I've made it so that I can put on or pull off whatever places I want or don't want marked.
For future Sunday School units, it will turn into an OT world map.
For school projects it could turn into a modern day map... So many possibilities!
I'm pleased with it. Worth the couple of hours it took.
just said no...
... to teaching perhaps the trickiest kids on this side of town.
Feel a little bad about it.
Feel a little bad about it.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
feeling glum and pathetic
do I:
a. Go to the gym
b. Go for a swim
c. Blog about how pathetic I'm feeling
d. Go to bed
a. Go to the gym
b. Go for a swim
c. Blog about how pathetic I'm feeling
d. Go to bed
red dresses
I have a thing for red dresses. While I generally don't enjoy clothes shopping, I love red dress shopping. If I pass a shop and there is a red dress in the window, I will go in and try it on pretty much regardless of the cut or cost. Even if I don't buy it (I usually don't) I've had the joy of looking at it, touching it and wearing it - if only for a minute.
Today I went past a clothes shop with a rack of red dresses out the front. After I tried one on I took control of myself and reasoned that I didn't need another red dress in this particular cut. I walked out of the shop with a purple dress feeling like I had done a noble thing.
Do you have an obsession with any colour or article of clothing?
*****
And while we're on colours, the book of Revelation is red and John is purple. Matthew is a sharper colour. Yellow? Bright green?
Today I went past a clothes shop with a rack of red dresses out the front. After I tried one on I took control of myself and reasoned that I didn't need another red dress in this particular cut. I walked out of the shop with a purple dress feeling like I had done a noble thing.
Do you have an obsession with any colour or article of clothing?
*****
And while we're on colours, the book of Revelation is red and John is purple. Matthew is a sharper colour. Yellow? Bright green?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
top 5 stupid things I've done in the last 24 hours
1. falling asleep at 8pm last night
2. waking up at 9.15pm, baking and blogging till 1am
3. not sleeping much between 1am and 5.30am (gym)
4. not eating lunch today (no time)
5. walking round the house for the last hour feeling everything is out of control and randomly bursting into tears. [Low blood sugar? Exhaustion?]
Happy face now, for dinner guests!
2. waking up at 9.15pm, baking and blogging till 1am
3. not sleeping much between 1am and 5.30am (gym)
4. not eating lunch today (no time)
5. walking round the house for the last hour feeling everything is out of control and randomly bursting into tears. [Low blood sugar? Exhaustion?]
Happy face now, for dinner guests!
Monday, October 12, 2009
ministry and discouragement
I came home from church on Sunday morning feeling hugely discouraged. I had spent every spare second the previous week writing and planning for our new Sunday School unit. Much creativity, much thought and many many many hours of work had gone into it. And, I think, it went fairly well.
I don't resent time spent on church stuff. It is my choice how much energy I expend on things and how many things I say 'yes' to. So why was I feeling so down after Sunday?
I've had a couple of days now to reflect on this, and here's what I've come up with.
It's not the amount of hours I've put into something that makes me feel good or bitter, nor the outcomes, nor the thanks (or lack thereof) that I receive. Rather, it's whether or not I feel in it on my own.
What made me feel bad on the weekend was that no one else seemed to care about what I cared about. It mattered to no one else whether or not our kids understood the bible better. [There was one very notable exception to this. P., you are wonderful and a great encouragement.]
Now, I'm sure that this is not actually true. I'm sure that parents and teachers and others in the church really do care about the gospel being taught to and believed by the next generation. So how might they express this? A few ideas:
1. Be a part of kingdom work yourself. I will feel encouraged to do ministry in my patch if I can see you wholeheartedly and sacrificially serving in your patch. I know that it's not my ministry that's important, but the progress of the gospel in the world. If I see that the gospel is really important to you, I will feel encouraged to work harder and more joyfully in what I do. Talk to me about what you've been up to.
2. Join me. Ask how Sunday School is going, ask how you can pray for it, pray, and if you are able, join in yourself! The most wonderfully encouraging moments come when people offer to join in, not waiting to be invited. Why not do that?
3. If it is a ministry that you are a part of, be a part of it wholeheartedly. Come along every week. Miss other things in order to be there (and don't expect a star sticker for you sacrifices.) When you are there, be there! Be positive and take responsibility for things as you can.
4. Try not to talk about how busy you are. Generally, it is the busiest people who are doing the most for church. We make time for what is important to us. It's okay if you can't fit in another commitment, but hearing busy-ness sited as an excuse can really hurt the person asking - particularly if they feel overwhelmed with all that they are trying to do. Say that you can't do it and offer to pray for the ministry.
Any thoughts? I would love comments on this one.
I don't resent time spent on church stuff. It is my choice how much energy I expend on things and how many things I say 'yes' to. So why was I feeling so down after Sunday?
I've had a couple of days now to reflect on this, and here's what I've come up with.
It's not the amount of hours I've put into something that makes me feel good or bitter, nor the outcomes, nor the thanks (or lack thereof) that I receive. Rather, it's whether or not I feel in it on my own.
What made me feel bad on the weekend was that no one else seemed to care about what I cared about. It mattered to no one else whether or not our kids understood the bible better. [There was one very notable exception to this. P., you are wonderful and a great encouragement.]
Now, I'm sure that this is not actually true. I'm sure that parents and teachers and others in the church really do care about the gospel being taught to and believed by the next generation. So how might they express this? A few ideas:
1. Be a part of kingdom work yourself. I will feel encouraged to do ministry in my patch if I can see you wholeheartedly and sacrificially serving in your patch. I know that it's not my ministry that's important, but the progress of the gospel in the world. If I see that the gospel is really important to you, I will feel encouraged to work harder and more joyfully in what I do. Talk to me about what you've been up to.
2. Join me. Ask how Sunday School is going, ask how you can pray for it, pray, and if you are able, join in yourself! The most wonderfully encouraging moments come when people offer to join in, not waiting to be invited. Why not do that?
3. If it is a ministry that you are a part of, be a part of it wholeheartedly. Come along every week. Miss other things in order to be there (and don't expect a star sticker for you sacrifices.) When you are there, be there! Be positive and take responsibility for things as you can.
4. Try not to talk about how busy you are. Generally, it is the busiest people who are doing the most for church. We make time for what is important to us. It's okay if you can't fit in another commitment, but hearing busy-ness sited as an excuse can really hurt the person asking - particularly if they feel overwhelmed with all that they are trying to do. Say that you can't do it and offer to pray for the ministry.
Any thoughts? I would love comments on this one.
GEOS
Our C64 was just the coolest thing. It had this program called GEOS which was kind of like a prehistoric windows. It included 'GeoWrite' and 'GeoDraw' and I spent loads of time designing my own little symbol to replace the pointer arrow, exploring delightful new fonts (it came with several!) and making spray-paint pictures.Good times.
Real time C64 experience here.
sacked!
[not really]
The work contract that I started last week has been cancelled. They originally wanted someone to work the whole term - which I wasn't able to commit to - so they signed me up for the 3 weeks that I could do. I told them from the start that I'd be happy to pull out of the contract if they found someone else. They've now found someone else.
The great thing is that I'm already ahead, financially. Supply work pays significantly better than contract work and I'll now be paid supply rates for the contract days I've done. For the same pay I now have 2 extra days off.
I'm feeling delightfully calm.
The principal felt bad for me and has promised me the pick of the supply work at his school for the rest of the year.
The work contract that I started last week has been cancelled. They originally wanted someone to work the whole term - which I wasn't able to commit to - so they signed me up for the 3 weeks that I could do. I told them from the start that I'd be happy to pull out of the contract if they found someone else. They've now found someone else.
The great thing is that I'm already ahead, financially. Supply work pays significantly better than contract work and I'll now be paid supply rates for the contract days I've done. For the same pay I now have 2 extra days off.
I'm feeling delightfully calm.
The principal felt bad for me and has promised me the pick of the supply work at his school for the rest of the year.
top 5 things to do instead of cleaning the house
1. blog about how much house work I have to do
2. read blogs
3. decide to put on some music / a sermon to make the housework more enjoyable
4. spend an hour downloading stuff to listen to
5. blog about how I haven't done any housework yet
2. read blogs
3. decide to put on some music / a sermon to make the housework more enjoyable
4. spend an hour downloading stuff to listen to
5. blog about how I haven't done any housework yet
Sunday, October 11, 2009
idol review - big band night
Why was James in the bottom 2? Scott gone. All good.
Kate - Not my style but country fans would have loved this. 7/10
Stan - Easy to ignore. I was doing something else at the same time and was barely distracted. Big Band soul. Odd. Didn't like the ending. 7.5/10
Kim - Unimpressed. If you close your eyes, there's not really anything there. 5/10
James - Love him, as always. 8/10
Hayley - Little more forced than usual. 7.5/10
Nathan - good stuff. 9/10
Toby - still not into him, but this one is always going to get a big clap. 8/10
Kim needs to go.
Kate - Not my style but country fans would have loved this. 7/10
Stan - Easy to ignore. I was doing something else at the same time and was barely distracted. Big Band soul. Odd. Didn't like the ending. 7.5/10
Kim - Unimpressed. If you close your eyes, there's not really anything there. 5/10
James - Love him, as always. 8/10
Hayley - Little more forced than usual. 7.5/10
Nathan - good stuff. 9/10
Toby - still not into him, but this one is always going to get a big clap. 8/10
Kim needs to go.
Nurturing creativity in children
This is good. I particularly like his definition of creativity:
Creativity involves the generation of new ideas or concepts that usually lead to new products, performance and processes, or new associations between forms of knowledge, performance, processes or language.Creativity makes life good. More of it.
writing a poem...
...fairly close to the line. Maybe (probably) over it. Should I:
a. plough on ahead (who cares about lines!)
b. keep going. The question is what to do with the finished product.
c. stop writing, turn around, move carefully and definitely backwards.
d. stop writing, reposition the line, move on ahead.
Tell me what you think.
a. plough on ahead (who cares about lines!)
b. keep going. The question is what to do with the finished product.
c. stop writing, turn around, move carefully and definitely backwards.
d. stop writing, reposition the line, move on ahead.
Tell me what you think.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I'm on a crusade...
... to encourage bloggers to ditch word verification (captcha). I lost it a year ago and haven't had a problem with spam comments. WV slows down the commenting process.
Just go into your settings and switch it off. I will comment more if you do.
Just go into your settings and switch it off. I will comment more if you do.
Friday, October 9, 2009
rev 1:8
A few of us are writing sunday school material at the moment. Collaboration is good. Mostly. Just a bit tricky when you don't agree on the meaning of key verses.
Like our memory verse from Revelation 1.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Rev 1:8
I think that the Lord God in this verse is Jesus.
People who know stuff... am I right?
Like our memory verse from Revelation 1.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Rev 1:8
I think that the Lord God in this verse is Jesus.
People who know stuff... am I right?
should we defend traditional marriage?
Interesting discussion over here.
My opinion?
I think we should defend one woman, one man, life long, loving and respectful union. I'd leave off the 'traditional' but think we should defend marriage.
Why?
1. We should defend it amongst christians because it's what God wants.
2. We should defend it in the world because solid marriages will help society function better and lead to the next generation of kids being less screwed up. Like other social concerns, I don't think we should throw all our energy behind this cause. The world is going to end anyway and only the gospel will give any real hope. But it is awful watching kids (and grown ups) struggle through family breakdown.
My opinion?
I think we should defend one woman, one man, life long, loving and respectful union. I'd leave off the 'traditional' but think we should defend marriage.
Why?
1. We should defend it amongst christians because it's what God wants.
2. We should defend it in the world because solid marriages will help society function better and lead to the next generation of kids being less screwed up. Like other social concerns, I don't think we should throw all our energy behind this cause. The world is going to end anyway and only the gospel will give any real hope. But it is awful watching kids (and grown ups) struggle through family breakdown.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I know about dams
I know lots and lots about dams.
And about water treatment.
Not sure how much the kids understood, but I feel much more knowledgeable now.
And about water treatment.
Not sure how much the kids understood, but I feel much more knowledgeable now.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Hello My God
I have to admit to being unmoved by the Jesus, all about life campaign. Christian TV ads make me cringe - whatever they are like. They brings back awful childhood memories about these horrible CTA ads. I remember sitting around the lounge room feeling awkward listening to this song that just went on and on and on. Anyone else remember it?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
responsibility
I'm a real teacher for the next few weeks. No more of the heady fun that is supply teaching. No. I am a less-well paid contract teacher. I have a year 3 class for 2.5 days each week and I have to take (shock-horror!) responsibility for their learning. I have to actually teach them set work and assess them! It has been a long time since I've had to do that. And the first time I've ever had to assess primary kids. Here's hoping I can pull something out of the hat.
Tonight I'm learning about dams and the water cycle. We taught a playgroup unit on the water cycle a couple of years ago. My friend wrote this song (to the tune of she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes)
Oh the water cycle goes around and round
Oh the water cycle goes around and round
It goes up into the air
And back down to the ground
Oh the water cycle goes around and round.
Apparently I wrote a song about water too, but I can't remember it. Might need to trawl through the playgroup files... Playgroup... Year 3... Not too different!
I start on Thursday by taking them on an excursion.
Tonight I'm learning about dams and the water cycle. We taught a playgroup unit on the water cycle a couple of years ago. My friend wrote this song (to the tune of she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes)
Oh the water cycle goes around and round
Oh the water cycle goes around and round
It goes up into the air
And back down to the ground
Oh the water cycle goes around and round.
Apparently I wrote a song about water too, but I can't remember it. Might need to trawl through the playgroup files... Playgroup... Year 3... Not too different!
I start on Thursday by taking them on an excursion.
top 5 hints for teaching kids in sunday school
1. Give your teaching series a clear direction. Kids will remember it if it's headed somewhere.
2. Have a big idea (make sure it's the big idea of the passage) and present it clearly.
3. Be creative in your presentation, but really, just tell the story well.
4. Recap 'the story so far' each week.
5. Font up well.
2. Have a big idea (make sure it's the big idea of the passage) and present it clearly.
3. Be creative in your presentation, but really, just tell the story well.
4. Recap 'the story so far' each week.
5. Font up well.
Monday, October 5, 2009
quote
"The Christian life for both men and women is about service - service of God and service of others. The bible is amazingly non-prescriptive about the specifics of what that looks like. How we serve will depend on the situations in which we are placed, our gifts, our personalities, our frailties... As women, it is likely that throughout our lives, we will serve in many different ways. My service may take quite a different shape than yours does, and that is to be expected." sar
This will go on some NTE strand material. What do you think? Do I sound liberal? Conservative? Fundy? Biblical?
This will go on some NTE strand material. What do you think? Do I sound liberal? Conservative? Fundy? Biblical?
top 5 things I must do today
1. go to koorong and buy marriage prep books
2. sort sunday school for this weekend
3. buy a new landline phone (ours is broken and mobiles are costing us a fortune)
4. buy pjs for N and M
5. write a lyric for pp
2. sort sunday school for this weekend
3. buy a new landline phone (ours is broken and mobiles are costing us a fortune)
4. buy pjs for N and M
5. write a lyric for pp
said 'no' to work today...
Now I have to make this day worth $300.
The pressure!
[Might just read the blogs.]
The pressure!
[Might just read the blogs.]
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Idol Review - Pink night.
Tim has gone. Oh well. Glad it wasn't James.
The trouble with Pink night is that Pink songs are gender specific. It just doesn't work having a guy sing Mr. President or So What or Who Knew or Please don't leave me. And changing a word here or there doesn't fix the problem. And guys are 'tools', not girls.
Nathan - Just Like a Pill
Okay. But took the pinkness out of Pink. 7/10.
Scott - So What
No No No! Changing 'husband' to 'girl friend' does make a difference! Losing a girl friend doesn't quite matter as much. And you don't look or sound like a rockstar. Just a guy pretending. Bad pitch. Stupid performance. 3/10.
Stan - Dear Mr. President
Sung okay (2nd half anyway), but the Mr. President thing doesn't work with a guy. 7.5/10.
Kate - Trouble
I like her better without the hat but I'm still bored. Pink with a country twang isn't Pink. It's a dull brown. The final key change seemed a move of desperation. It didn't save anything. Just prolonged the agony. 6/10.
James - Who Knew
Love the song, but it really wasn't him. Can a guy that age sing something like this? I don't think so. (Actually, I don't think any guy can sing this song.) But he's still my favourite. 7/10.
Kim
Better than she has been. Not quite so conscious of her appearance, which made a big difference. She really did do it pretty well, but still it feels plastic compared to Hayley. Poor Kim. Just a matter of time... 8/10
Toby - Please don't leave me
Awful. Lyrics didn't work at all (Dicko's Ted Bundy comment apt), stage presence 0. Please please please don't walk slowly across the stage again! 6.5/10
Hayley - Funhouse
Natural, wonderful, entertaining... I could listen and watch this all night. 9.5/10
Best - Hayley
Worst - Scott
The trouble with Pink night is that Pink songs are gender specific. It just doesn't work having a guy sing Mr. President or So What or Who Knew or Please don't leave me. And changing a word here or there doesn't fix the problem. And guys are 'tools', not girls.
Nathan - Just Like a Pill
Okay. But took the pinkness out of Pink. 7/10.
Scott - So What
No No No! Changing 'husband' to 'girl friend' does make a difference! Losing a girl friend doesn't quite matter as much. And you don't look or sound like a rockstar. Just a guy pretending. Bad pitch. Stupid performance. 3/10.
Stan - Dear Mr. President
Sung okay (2nd half anyway), but the Mr. President thing doesn't work with a guy. 7.5/10.
Kate - Trouble
I like her better without the hat but I'm still bored. Pink with a country twang isn't Pink. It's a dull brown. The final key change seemed a move of desperation. It didn't save anything. Just prolonged the agony. 6/10.
James - Who Knew
Love the song, but it really wasn't him. Can a guy that age sing something like this? I don't think so. (Actually, I don't think any guy can sing this song.) But he's still my favourite. 7/10.
Kim
Better than she has been. Not quite so conscious of her appearance, which made a big difference. She really did do it pretty well, but still it feels plastic compared to Hayley. Poor Kim. Just a matter of time... 8/10
Toby - Please don't leave me
Awful. Lyrics didn't work at all (Dicko's Ted Bundy comment apt), stage presence 0. Please please please don't walk slowly across the stage again! 6.5/10
Hayley - Funhouse
Natural, wonderful, entertaining... I could listen and watch this all night. 9.5/10
Best - Hayley
Worst - Scott
thoughts
I had an email from a friend yesterday who is writing a seminar on women and work and wanted feedback.
His material was good and has got me thinking.
A frustration that I feel whenever a 'women's issue' is addressed is that we always have to have Genesis 1-2 as our primary text. It makes me yawn.
Is this because:
It's most likely a mix of all three. Some repentance is probably needed, some patience, and some reveling in the fact that I, just like my brothers, am a human being living in God's world.
His material was good and has got me thinking.
A frustration that I feel whenever a 'women's issue' is addressed is that we always have to have Genesis 1-2 as our primary text. It makes me yawn.
Is this because:
- I'm ungodly and don't want to hear what God wants me to hear! Do I feel discontented in my female-ness? (This is quite possible! If true, I need to repent.)
- I've heard it too many times and am bored with it. It's okay, I agree with the content, but play me a different tune for a while... (If boredom is the issue, I need to suck it up and listen to the Gen 1-2 arguments for the sake of those who haven't heard them a million times before.)
- I don't like female-ness being the defining thing about me. It makes me feel 'imprisoned in my gender' (see Blocher quote below)
The emphasis on the co-humanity [of the man and the woman] relativizes the differentiation as such. ʻMale and femaleʼ will never be anything more than a second truth about man and woman. History shows an ever-recurring tendency to imprison woman in her femininity, to the detriment of her participating quite simply in human life. By underlining the likeness, Genesis provides protection against the course machismo of the Mediterranean male, but also against the suspect cult of an Eternal Feminine, and against the Romantic speculations which make the masculine and feminine, like yin and yang, the
ultimate principles, the two poles of being.
(Henri Blocher, In the Beginning: The Opening Chapters of Genesis, (Leicester: IVP, 1984), p. 100, emphasis mine)
It's most likely a mix of all three. Some repentance is probably needed, some patience, and some reveling in the fact that I, just like my brothers, am a human being living in God's world.
evangellyfish.com
I'm enjoying this online book at the moment. Give it a go when the blogs are slow. (But read from the bottom to the top, or you'll spoil the ending.)
Astronomical
I've written many posts about my favourite poet, Sophie Hannah. I think you all should go out and buy her books. She's fabulous.
I love breakup poems. So much potential for well expressed anger and despair. SH usually injects comedy into hers which make them even more delightful. This one is worth the effort - even non-poetry people should enjoy it. Read and let me know what you think.
[Warning: there is a bit of language some might prefer not to experience...]
Astronomical
I tell the girl at Name a Star of course
I know it’s rare, I know she hopes she won’t be asked again.
Requests like mine are hardly likely to become the norm.
Most people will continue to conform,
but I am not most people.
I’ve read the rules. I know what’s fair
and I want to name a star,
as the blurb says, to show someone I care.
The name I have chosen is David Shithead Stubbs. Now, can we talk
certificates, star lists, gift sets? Oh, go on, let’s.
I’ve sent my cheque for fifty quid.
I have consumer rights.
She doesn’t even ask me what he did.
Do you know how long it took, I say, to choose a slur?
Wanker and arsehole sounded somehow wrong.
Shithead was good but couldn’t stand alone,
since how would David Stubbs or anyone have known
the star was named for him? You see, this means
a lot to me. It isn’t just a whim.
I need to know that every night, for ever,
he’ll trawl the skies, wondering is that the one?
Feet on the ground, he can repent, appeal, achieve, endeavour
but every twinkle of the star I’ve named
will show him he is blamed
permanently and hard for what he’s done.
So, David Stubbs, let’s see how tough you are.
I am the customer. I’ve paid. You can’t un-name my star.
The voice I’m speaking to sounds tired. I know
I sound hysterical, a mess,
a shrew it would be foolish to say no to. Well, so be it.
There will be a star called David Shithead Stubbs.
I will lean over balconies to see it.
I give her the address
I want the framed certificate to go to.
Sophie Hannah
I love breakup poems. So much potential for well expressed anger and despair. SH usually injects comedy into hers which make them even more delightful. This one is worth the effort - even non-poetry people should enjoy it. Read and let me know what you think.
[Warning: there is a bit of language some might prefer not to experience...]
Astronomical
I tell the girl at Name a Star of course
I know it’s rare, I know she hopes she won’t be asked again.
Requests like mine are hardly likely to become the norm.
Most people will continue to conform,
but I am not most people.
I’ve read the rules. I know what’s fair
and I want to name a star,
as the blurb says, to show someone I care.
The name I have chosen is David Shithead Stubbs. Now, can we talk
certificates, star lists, gift sets? Oh, go on, let’s.
I’ve sent my cheque for fifty quid.
I have consumer rights.
She doesn’t even ask me what he did.
Do you know how long it took, I say, to choose a slur?
Wanker and arsehole sounded somehow wrong.
Shithead was good but couldn’t stand alone,
since how would David Stubbs or anyone have known
the star was named for him? You see, this means
a lot to me. It isn’t just a whim.
I need to know that every night, for ever,
he’ll trawl the skies, wondering is that the one?
Feet on the ground, he can repent, appeal, achieve, endeavour
but every twinkle of the star I’ve named
will show him he is blamed
permanently and hard for what he’s done.
So, David Stubbs, let’s see how tough you are.
I am the customer. I’ve paid. You can’t un-name my star.
The voice I’m speaking to sounds tired. I know
I sound hysterical, a mess,
a shrew it would be foolish to say no to. Well, so be it.
There will be a star called David Shithead Stubbs.
I will lean over balconies to see it.
I give her the address
I want the framed certificate to go to.
Sophie Hannah
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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