I came home from church on Sunday morning feeling hugely discouraged. I had spent every spare second the previous week writing and planning for our new Sunday School unit. Much creativity, much thought and many many many hours of work had gone into it. And, I think, it went fairly well.
I don't resent time spent on church stuff. It is my choice how much energy I expend on things and how many things I say 'yes' to. So why was I feeling so down after Sunday?
I've had a couple of days now to reflect on this, and here's what I've come up with.
It's not the amount of hours I've put into something that makes me feel good or bitter, nor the outcomes, nor the thanks (or lack thereof) that I receive. Rather, it's whether or not I feel in it on my own.
What made me feel bad on the weekend was that no one else seemed to care about what I cared about. It mattered to no one else whether or not our kids understood the bible better. [There was one very notable exception to this. P., you are wonderful and a great encouragement.]
Now, I'm sure that this is not actually true. I'm sure that parents and teachers and others in the church really do care about the gospel being taught to and believed by the next generation. So how might they express this? A few ideas:
1. Be a part of kingdom work yourself. I will feel encouraged to do ministry in my patch if I can see you wholeheartedly and sacrificially serving in your patch. I know that it's not my ministry that's important, but the progress of the gospel in the world. If I see that the gospel is really important to you, I will feel encouraged to work harder and more joyfully in what I do. Talk to me about what you've been up to.
2. Join me. Ask how Sunday School is going, ask how you can pray for it, pray, and if you are able, join in yourself! The most wonderfully encouraging moments come when people offer to join in, not waiting to be invited. Why not do that?
3. If it is a ministry that you are a part of, be a part of it wholeheartedly. Come along every week. Miss other things in order to be there (and don't expect a star sticker for you sacrifices.) When you are there, be there! Be positive and take responsibility for things as you can.
4. Try not to talk about how busy you are. Generally, it is the busiest people who are doing the most for church. We make time for what is important to us. It's okay if you can't fit in another commitment, but hearing busy-ness sited as an excuse can really hurt the person asking - particularly if they feel overwhelmed with all that they are trying to do. Say that you can't do it and offer to pray for the ministry.
Any thoughts? I would love comments on this one.
You sound down, Simone. (All my male perceptiveness needed to be brought to bear on that one.) Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I have any helpful thoughts. I've been blessed not to be 'in it on my own' very much so far in ministry, so I'm priveleged in that respect. It seems I ought not take it for granted.
Love your work, sis. Will continue* to pray. :)
*Not trying to insinuate that my prayer is as often as it ought be.
If it helps (and I don't know why it should), I miss teaching the kids, and I really do care about how they're going with God.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I've decided to completely wrongly take the "P" in your post as referring to me. :P
I can understand where you're coming from. We feel the same way - we're pouring our lives in to mission in Japan and then people who should know better come up and ask us dumb questions or in some other way show that actually they don't really care that millions are dying overseas without having the chance to know Christ.
ReplyDeleteHey Simone, I wanted to let you know, we still use things Naomi saw at "Open the Box" (after seeing all of 2 or 3) in our toddlers sunday school classes because we see it's really important not just what you teach, but how, and really liked how you approached communicating truth to the little ones in a way that keeps them interested, and tries to focus all they do on the theme of the day (we haven't written any new songs, but some old ones occasionally get new words for a day).
ReplyDeleteAlso, I can agree with you on points 1-3. However, I think with 4, while I understand being overwhelmed with everything that's going on, perhaps "showing them the hand" when they can't help because they're busy is perhaps a bit harsh. (I don't think you intended to come across that way, but it did seem like - can't help me, fine, I'll talk to someone who can). We don't know what someone else is busy with - it may be things in the 1-3 category that you can't see, and won't know if they can't share. It may be an overly cynical assumption that they're not busy with important things for the kingdom.
Also, If we don't understand their "busyness", how can we encourage them in either continuing what they're doing, or help them see where they can change to serve Christ better?
Finally, acknowledge that shifting busy-ness can take time - it may require training other people to take over a role, a career change, family upheaval, etc. Continued encouragement from others during this time is gold.
Please keep up the great work in your public ministry, particularly with kids and music (the ministry patches that we've seen) and "pastor's wife", and the many others largely unseen (but probably equally important) such as wife and mother.
See you next year...
ReplyDeleteI don't get how you can be a Christian and not get that serving the body of believers is your calling.
I don't get passive Christians.
They annoy me.
Nathan. Said with the sensitivity for which we love you. We look forward to having you on board.
ReplyDeleteMark. I didn't mean to come across as harsh in #4. I think sometimes in our culture we use busyness as a badge of honour. We are busy - this means we have lots of people needing us to do lots of things, which means we are important. Try asking someone how their week has been. I reckon that well over half will respond with 'busy' without even thinking. I know that people have really full lives. I know that many people are serving at capacity - which is great. I certainly don't want people to feel pressured to do something that is really not possible for them. All I was suggesting was that they think about the words they use in their refusal. Try to be caring towards the person asking by not just saying you're too busy (this implies that your time is more precious than the time of the person asking the question). You could start by affirming the work that they are doing - by saying you think it's worthwhile (if you do!), then say you are sorry you can't be a part of it at this stage, then ask questions about what sort of gifts etc. they are after so you can pray.
My tendency, though, is to not ask people to help at all - fearing that they are too busy and won't want to be involved - or worse, that they'll begrudgingly do it.
Wendy - I can imagine this being a struggle.
Kutz - maybe encouraging people have names that start with P.
ReplyDelete