routine-ness

I hate non-routine-ness. I'm realizing this more and more all the time.

My life works to a weekly plan. Gym visits, RE teaching, bible studies, work, writing time, trips to the park with friends, coffee shop visits, church... I do things exactly the same every week. And I like it that way. I don't miss anything. I don't forget anything.

I've realized, though, that I'm so hooked on my routine-ness that I get stressed at the thought of doing anything different. To visit a friend I don't normally visit is difficult because I feel (stupidly) that such a thing is not meant to happen - it's not on my internal calender. It makes me confused. I find it easier to get my head around visiting a friend at a particular time each week than visiting as a once off - somehow the weekly thing feels more under control than the random visit.

Tonight I'm going to church. It's all wrong. I don't go to church on Sunday night. On Sunday night I watch you-tube music clips with the kids and then clean the floor. But my gym friends called up and asked if they could come to church (unheard of!) so I've organised my babysitter and I'm going with them.

I am thankful that they want to go. I cleaned the floor this afternoon. It all should be fine.

Except the kids. They are as routine as me and are finding the change a little hard to cope with.