I think many people find me a pain in the neck to work with. But I'm not. I'm just a poor, misunderstood ENTP... Okay. I am annoying. But understand me and working with me may be less painful. Ten things.
1. I hate asking people to do thing. I really hate it, so I put it off and put it off until it's absolutely the last minute and then I ask... but not very well - often I minimise what needs to be done, doing as much myself as I can - then I look like a one-woman band who doesn't actually want anyone else's help...
2. I run on enthusiasm. I can move small mountains when inspired by a new project. When my enthusiasm runs out (usually after the creative stage of the job is over), I need people to carry me.
3. I'm an up front person. I'd rather a class of 25 than a single kid. When on my game, I do upfront stuff well (eg. together time in Sunday school) and it costs me very little. Don't assume I'll competently transition to a smaller group.
4. I'm a big picture person. Unless it's my current pet project, I will not be able to deal with details.
5. I want to know you. Sit down and talk to me about something significant and I'll love it.
6. I think fairly quickly. Women often feel intimidated by this, mistaking it for cleverness. I'm not particularly smart. Talk to me for long enough and you'll realise.
7. I have ridiculously high standards for material that I have to use (eg. bible studies, sunday school curriculum, school lessons, recipes...) Mostly, if I haven't written it myself, I'll hate it. I know this is stupid but I run on creative buzz and there is no buzz for me in using other people's stuff. The least painful thing for me to do is make my own bible studies, school resources and sunday school material. You shouldn't feel you need to follow my lead on this.
8. I'm a routine person. I don't carry a diary and it stresses me out having non-routine stuff locked in heaps in advance. If you ask me to do something with you in 2 weeks, I'll look confused. Ask me to do something now and I'll be keen. Does this mean I'm a STABO person?
9. I have a very bad memory for names.
10. If you give me something, I will lose it. If you send it in an email, I'll have it forever.
What do you wish people understood about you?
#1 is very much a description of me too. Things tend to seem so much easier that way, until things get WAY out of hand and I have a major meltdown!
ReplyDeleteI wish people understood that my general quietness does not usually equate to disinterest, I'm just taking things in and forming opinions, which if you wait long enough you'll probably get to hear.
I also wish people understood that for good conversation you have to be interested and be interesting. Most need to work on the former, because they like talking about themselves too much. I'm pretty boring, so probably need to work on the latter!
1. Me too.
ReplyDelete2. Me too.
3. Me too.
4. Mostly me too.
5. Not so much me too.
6. Me too.
7. Me too.
8. I'm not a routine person but I'm a very spontaneous person.
10. Me too.
Could be an interesting couple of years...
This is a great post, Simone. I am going to try and write one for me. I think we are fairly different, but I concur with 2 and 5.
ReplyDeleteps-And in regards, to 9, it's Ben by the way.
What do you wish people understood about you?
ReplyDeleteHeck. I don't even understand me.
Maybe that's what I wish people knew. That I'm not all worked out. That even though I'm tall and loud and confident, I'm still very much a work in progress.
9. Not me too - though I forgot to address that point...
ReplyDeleteYou think that women are intimidated by cleverness? (This isn't a critical comment, I am really interested if that is what you have found to be the case?).
ReplyDeleteInteresting list too.
Sarah - I'm interested. So how does the conversation keep going while you are 'taking things in and forming opinions?' Not a criticism, just wondering. Can you ask questions at the same time as thinking? Is it up to the other person to keep things going or is it okay for there to be a very very long silence?
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is interesting. Sure, some topics of conversation are mind-numbing (excess talk about wonder-child, holiday narratives...), but then there's the challenge of steering the conversation in a direction where you really get to find out about the other person - and that will rarely be dull.
Nathan - yes. It could be fun. Or... um... Something else.
Ben - what would life be without the excitement of a new project?
Al - Go buy a combie van and hang out in nimbin till you've found yourself. Actually, don't.
Amy - Yes. But not by real cleverness so much as by the appearance of cleverness that ENT types like me can project. But as women, we tend to psych eachother out generally - so many things to feel insecure about - looks, marriage/singleness, work/home, kids/no kids, extrovert/introvert... - so it's really not surprising. If I let myself, I can be psyched out but the quiet introvert I'm trying to talk to at morning tea time after church. I can interpret her silence as smugness and descend into a vortex of despair over how bad I am compared to her... [which, of course, is stupid.]
Absolutely - I really think women are far more competitive than men.
ReplyDeleteTwo men stand there thinking that they've just having a nice conversation with another couple at church not realising that the two women have are frantically comparing every single little thing - who has a bigger ring, who has better clothes, whose husband has better clothes, of course she realises I am a really bad cook, is our house bigger than theirs, our car is so embarrassing, her children are obviously geniuses, blah blah blah...
But oh so hard not to do it...
Amy, I don't know that competitive is the word. We just indulge in comparison - and usually negative comparison as in - she's better, thinner, more intelligent, more stylish etc. Very poisonous. Men 'compete' on a different level.
ReplyDeleteSimone - I wish people didn't expect me to remember details - like prices I've paid for stuff, names, the definition of Shintoism, the number of children at my husband's school, the percentage of Japanese students etc. I'm not dim, but I always feel like an idiot when I have to say, "Ask my husband for the details."
Interesing insight. Thanks! For myself,
ReplyDeleteI don't like quick changes of topic/plan. I like to examine a topic completely, from all sides, before moving on.
Mental multi-tasking is difficult. I find it difficult to be coherent/chatty when I'm in the middle of a project.
I prefer giving intellectual/practical support, not emotional support (i.e. I tend to offer solutions and practical help, not tears and hugs. The masculine stereotype, actually.)
If you don't want me to twiddle with things and take what I don't like about your work as a guide for a complete re-write, tell me before you give me a half-completed project. (I actually appreciate having a starting point to criticize, deconstruct and reconstruct, but I'll give my independence free reign, if you don't specifically ask me not to. I can rather innocently assume that you'll thank me once I give my "logically air-tight" reasons for the changes.)
I find reading opposing viewpoints vital to understanding and expressing my own better.
Wendy, what are you again, in terms of Myers-Briggs? ESTP?
ENFP with strong I and J shadows.
ReplyDeleteSimone- I've written my top 10 list
ReplyDeleteSimone, my experience in being married to a 'taking things in and forming an opinion' introvert. He finds it very difficult to talk to others of the same ilk, it gets very awkward at times. One of the reasons he likes me - I just keep talking :-)
ReplyDelete"or something else"
ReplyDeleteEspecially when one throws Mr Kutuzov into the mix.
Are you counting the sleeps?
Me? I'm counting the seconds...
ReplyDelete