The child-care debate seems to have paused for a little while. Just as well. I wonder if 51 comments is Jean's record... Makes sense with Nathan's comments graph.I feel a little like I took on the role of the liberal there's-no-right-or-wrong-in-mothering advocate. I'm not that. At all. [Just like to clear up any confusion by stating that I think many mums do a bad job.] There is right and wrong. Patience, kindness, gentleness and self control are good. Anger, manipulation, harshness, impatience, bitterness and neglect are bad. It is important that we train up our kids in what is right. Bad if we don't. We must not provoke them to anger. Etc. Etc. Within the framework of love, I think we have some freedom in how we raise them. So much will depend on our own personalities. For an ISTJ type, this will mean running a well ordered home. The furnishings will match and there will be a system for everything. The mum may need to work hard at expressing her love for and finding joy in her kids. For an ENTP like me, there will be much energy, enthusiasm and fun while I'm interested. I'll need to work on staying interested.
I'm thankful that I didn't work while the kids were little. I'm also glad I can do two days a week now (but I have the perfect kid-job... teaching.) The year Micah turned 4 I had him in care for a few hours a week while I helped out at the kids school, taught RE and sat in coffee shops. It was the first break I had had in 8 years. It was wonderful.
I, personally, have quite strong opinions on all sorts of things regarding child rearing. Here are a few:
- overuse of after school care is tragic
- kids are part of the family community and should fit in with it
- second best can be fine (if it's not bad)
- laziness is not good but so easy
- family baby-sitting can be abused just like child care can
- we should be generous with eachother but question ourselves carefully
I like this bit:
ReplyDelete"kids are part of the family community and should fit in with it"
It's a reminder that children are not the be all and end all of married existence and keeps perspective of everyone's place.
So now I'm the guy who tells mums not to overshare on Facebook and I've been dragged into the equivalent of World War 3. Lucky I'm already married.
ReplyDeletetrouble finds you. go find a small room without a computer and lock yourself in it. alone. ditch the iphone too.
ReplyDeleteSimone, I have found the whole way you have approached and spoken about this issue so helpful. I am not sure what it is stirring up in me but I have really been (negatively) impacted by some of the discussion (and I don't even us 'childcare'). I don't question whether I am doing the right thing as a mother and wife, I am certainly not perfect but I feel that I do have my priorities right and yet...I think it's that I feel so judged by people who have not met me and I feel that so many women are being judged by people who have not met them, all borne out of some "ideal". Anyway, thank you for the way you have contributed and sought to uphold Biblical principles and priorities without imparting a specific framework in which they ought to be enacted.
ReplyDelete