Did you know this little one
set the stars and lit the sun?
Did you know this child you hold
is the Lord from ages old?
Mary can you see the light
shining in the dark of night?
Sing praises for
the joy of all the earth
has come.
Can you hear the angels’ song
“Glory, glory to our God!”
Shepherds put away your fear
Christ the Lord, your saviour’s here!
Born in Bethlehem this night
a baby boy, your soul’s delight
Sing praises for
the joy of all the earth
has come.
Faithful saints now pass in peace
for your eyes have finally seen
What was promised is fulfilled
Deaf can hear and lame are healed
We have seen God's saving hand
Reaching out to every land
Sing praises for
the joy of all the earth
has come.
sar 2012
This is turning into a nice little song. We're really pleased with how it's coming.
Since I posted it a couple of weeks ago, I've been rethinking V3L5-6. Deb didn't like them. Others agreed. The original words were:
We have seen His outstretched arm
Saving us from every harm.
What do you think? Any better?
I'm still thinking about other options for V3L4. Nothing yet.
UPDATE: New words! Verse 3:
Faithful saints now pass in peace
for your eyes have finally seen
What was promised has appeared
Lame will walk and deaf will hear
We have seen God's saving hand
Reaching out to every land
Sing praises for
the joy of all the earth
has come.
Like.
ReplyDeleteYep, much better.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering too (can't remember if I said this in a comment to the earlier post or not?) if there was a difference between "Did you know.." and "Do you know..." I think "do" is a little easier to sing, and maybe more consistent with present tense in most of the remainder of the song?
But that's just me...and I think it is sounding really good :)
I've been thinking about this. I chose 'Did you know' originally because I liked it better. Still do. The tense is interesting - past, but also works presently for Mary.
Delete'Did' also distinguishes from the other song!
Okay, that's a reasonable argument :)
DeleteI like it. Including the new words on Lines 3/4.
Very much like the two new lines.
ReplyDeleteWith regard to line four, it seems to me that you're referring in the initial scope to Simeon and Anna, which is one of the reasons I think the two new lines fit well. The imagery of your fourth line doesn't come from that pericope (I think?).
Maybe there's something else there that you can find.
Or has this been mentioned somewhere else and I'm just stating the obvious?
I'm happy with either, but only just thought to wonder about the change from second to first person. I assume it's deliberate, and perhaps the reason why I had my initial reaction regarding how useful the lyrics were...
ReplyDeleteYes. Deliberate. Goes both ways. It could be Anna and Simeon speaking or it could be us reflecting.
DeleteThanks everyone for your comments! I really appreciated the feedback last time. Check out the updated version.
ReplyDeleteI like the version 3 third verse best so far but the tenses are confusing. I think perhaps it should continue in future tense - "We will see God's saving hand..."
ReplyDeleteNah. Past tense. Simeon saw baby Jesus and then had seen God's salvation.
Delete29 “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.
30 For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31 which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel.”
Hey Simone.
ReplyDeleteI like the vividness and general punchiness of the words :)
FWIW, three other comments:
* I don't like V1L2, because the verbs seem to weak or soft, especially for the beginning of the song: "set" and "lit". Not sure what to suggest though :( Maybe "fired", "breathed"? If you replace "and" with a comma, you can get one two syllable verb if you find one :)
* Maybe change V3L2 to "finally your eyes have seen", for metre.
* Not sure about tense in V3L4. When are the deaf and lame healed?
.. V3L4: maybe "Our redemption is revealed" instead?
DeleteSomething like this?
ReplyDeleteFaithful saints now pass in peace
Finally your eyes have seen
What was promised is revealed
Deaf will hear and lame are healed
We have seen God's saving hand
Reaching out to every land
Sing praises for
the joy of all the earth
has come.
Not sure about the tense change mid L4. Apart from that.... maybe!
Thanks.
I'll need to see how 'Finally' sits with the tune at the beginning of L2.
Good thoughts.
"Deaf will hear and lame BE healed"..?
DeleteActually I saw your comment about other options for V3L4, so I suggested replacing whole line with "Our redemption is revealed", taking queues on wording from Luke 2. But revealed with healed does rhyme more perfectly :)
Yeah I guess, although the "reaching out to every land" still seems in the future at this point, like the lame walking and the deaf hearing - contained as potential in this moment, but only to be fully revealed later on as the disciples are asked at the end of the story to take the gospel to all nations.
ReplyDeleteSorry I tried to reply to your response above but it stuck it down here.
Delete