on depth

Are you a 'deep' person?

I am very deep.  Shockingly so.  Once I drowned in my own thoughts.  That's how deep they went.

But many of you out there, won't have the natural depth that I do.  Nathan, we're told, doesn't.  If you worry that you don't appear deep to your friends and collegues, let me offer you a cosmetic solution.

Things to do to appear to be a 'deep thinker'.

1. In a conversation, what often happens is that someone describes a situation and the apparently shallow person knows immediately what's going on or what needs to be done. (Often their assessment is correct.) If this is you, my advice is: sit on your thoughts. Don't share them. Then come back the next day and say that you've thought about their situation and you think..... They'll think you are amazing (instead of superficial and arrogant)

2. If you are the type who goes to the trouble to make conversation, don't.  Small talk appears shallow.  Let others take responsibility for the movement of the conversation. Don't sulk, but just don't say much. If you are asked a straight question, answer politely, but in such a way as it doesn't lead to more conversation. While you're not speaking, look as if you are wrapped up in your own deep deep thoughts.

3. Carry around an anthology of indecipherable poems. Quote from it occasionally.

4. Take your fonting and general desktop publishing style back to 1990. I know that it will hurt, but to some people, any attention to the more superficial things indicates a lack on the deeper levels.

5. Read lots of self help books (or at least, buy such books and leave them on your coffee table) and try to get to the bottom of the reasons why you are such a lousy sinner - daddy issues, heart hunger... whatever. When someone asks about one of your self help titles, wipe a tear from the corner of your eye...

Yes, I see the irony in all this. Here is a superficial solution to the problem of lack of depth. But my well thought out and deep assessment of the problem is that until your introverted melancholic friends (for it is usually them who bring these charges) understand that depth isn't expressed in the same way by everyone, the appearance of depth is the most for which you can aim.