Friday, May 16, 2008

the power of my love

Women often complain that men try to fix things. We tell them how we're feeling about something, and they come up with a 3 point plan to solve the problem. But that's not what we want. We just want somebody to listen and understand.

But it's not just men who have a tendency to try to fix things. I think we women are just as likely to be Miss or Mrs. Fixit as our husbands and brothers are to be Mr. Fixit - only we don't offer a three point plan as the solution, we offer our love.

When the kids were little and they hurt themselves, I'd say "Come here, sweetie, Mummy'll kiss it better." It (mostly) worked. My kisses had healing power! My love was able to fix their troubles! What power!

It was a sad day when our youngest declared "kisses don't make it better!" At two years of age he'd stopped believing in the power of my love. But to this day, I'm still a believer. Yesterday, our almost 7 year old told me how a boy at school doesn't like him. My immediate answer was to say "I like you!" He looked at me as if I'd just changed the topic (as I had). I wanted my love to fix his problem, but while it may have helped him bear it, it didn't actually provide a solution.

I don't think it's just kids we try to 'fix'. Before we were married, how many of us thought that love would be able to fix problems in our husbands? Jane Eyre (it's always a good time for a J.E. illustration!) believed that her love for Rochester would heal his deep childhood hurts and cure him of his dissipated lifestyle. In novel-land, of course, it could - but in real life? Unlikely.

When I think about it, the power-of-my-love is an awfully arrogant thing to believe in. Yet I persist in believing in it. Why?

Perhaps because it's kind-of true. There is comfort in being loved. When we love our husbands, kids and friends it does beef them up a little to endure the difficulties that come their way. But does it fix things? Not really. Our love is just balm on the skin.

God's love is, of course, the true fix-it offering deep healing and the hope of new bodies which will no longer be hurt.

3 comments:

  1. Yes I agree! (Not that I live expecting my love to fix anything for anybody, but I understand.)

    P.S. I think you mean "bear" instead of "bare".

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  2. Thanks Nicole. Is it just me or is this a widespread female thing?

    Ali. Typo fixed! When your nieces are teenagers and contemplating all kinds of silliness they may recall some goblin letters and remember how much their auntie loves them and think better of it!

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