would leave his heavenly throne,
And come to earth, our God a man
to claim us for his own.
The Lord of the ages
took on human form,
He clothed himself in humble flesh
And as a child was born.
My heart delights and wonders at
this love that gives himself,
He sought no honour, no acclaim
no riches and no wealth.
He faithfully followed
this love that gives himself,
He sought no honour, no acclaim
no riches and no wealth.
He faithfully followed
the path set for him,
He walked the road to Calvary
To take away our sin.
My heart delights that Christ would seek
a sinful soul like mine
My heart was all unrighteousness
But his was love divine!
Oh Spirit move in me and
make me like Christ!
Oh may his will be my desire
And he my heart's delight.
He walked the road to Calvary
To take away our sin.
My heart delights that Christ would seek
a sinful soul like mine
My heart was all unrighteousness
But his was love divine!
Oh Spirit move in me and
make me like Christ!
Oh may his will be my desire
And he my heart's delight.
sar 2012
So I guess that means the tune has arrived.
ReplyDeleteBummer, to be polishing a different metre and then run out of time to react to the new one.
I'm sure this will sound like bleating...but 'faithfully followed' is fairly full of fluffy Fs. If nothing else can be done, I'd move the 'he' between them.
Anthony - re-metering is my life! But having only 2/8 lines changed makes it like my birthday or something.
DeleteI'll think about the Fs. It wasn't my first choice either.
Anthony - The problem isn't the Fs. The problem is that 'faithfully' is an adjective. Adjectives kill imagery. How about this:
DeleteHe set out to follow
the path laid for him,
He walked the road to Calvary
To take away our sin.
I'm all about alliteration!
DeleteI like the lyrics, and especially how you bring back the delight at the end.
The grammar nazgul (worried about filters here) in me would like to observe that there is a legion of adverbs feeling somewhat insulted here...
DeleteIt's better, but I want more guts! 'Set' is the word with the world record for the most distinct meanings in the dictionary, which is I think a way of making it not feel too bad about meaning anything and nothing.
'Determined to follow
The path laid for him, etc'??
This comment brought to you by the Parts of Speech Anthropomorphising Association, making language come alive since 1973.
(must be one of those days)
Bump.
DeleteCurious what you settled on. And, to be honest, wanting some credit for that second last paragraph, which entertained me greatly at the time ;-)
Credit. I laughed.
DeleteWe're up to tune variation 9. I'm over it, but this is how it goes. Hopefully it will be good soon.
I personally preferred the old metering because this is clunky to read but perhaps the tune makes it flow?
ReplyDeleteChanging the metre isa way of building tension - making the song feel like it is travelling somewhere.
DeleteBuilding tension for the singer, or the lyricist? ;-)
DeleteIt looks weird on paper, but I think the new metre works.