Safe In Our Saviour's Hands
Safe in our saviour's hands we stay
shielded from danger, held within
hidden while whole worlds pass away
fearing no evil, trouble, sin.
The nails that pierced his flesh have made
a crevice safe, a resting place
and here we stay though tempests rage
safe in the shelter of his grace.
Safe in our saviour's hands we stay
though human hands have done us wrong
and though hard pressed in every way
the humble are in him made strong.
And though perplexed, we won't despair
and though forgotten, not alone
safe though all earthly hopes subside
safe for our saviour brings us home.
Safe in his hands, no mortal dread
shall grip my soul, for if I die
my life is held by Christ my head
and I in him will surely rise.
Nothing ahead, nothing that's past
will ever turn his watch away
from now until forever lasts
safe in our saviour's hands we stay.
sar 2008
I like this very much. I can even hear it play in my head as I read through it, which is odd as I have no musical ability.
ReplyDeleteI think it flows really well and has that 'welling up' kind of sense towards the end which you really want in a meaty hymn (which is what this feels like).
I'd put my money on tempest. It's a good word. It has cyloncic overtones and sounds more substantial than a mere storm. And it's just a cool word that we don't get to use all that much.
I'm not sure about the 'while whole worlds pass away' - is that a revelation type reference? Seems a little obscure, but nothing too difficult to live with.
I think the 'ahead' in the last verse, 5th line is at odds with 'head' in the earlier part of the verse. Maybe 'before' though old-fashioned might work for you here?
I think the I/we thing does jar a bit, but I'm not sure if that is such a bad thing. I think we tend to flick from I to we mode throughout prayer, song, etc when we are together. And it doesn't really get in the way of the song.
And besides, it's always good to have something obvious that people can complain about (and that you are aware of in advance). It means they don't have to hunt for something, then they get more annoyed than they actually are... *grin*
Anyway, good job I say. Send it over to Philip so we can sing it at St Ebbes. :) JMB
Jennie - thanks so much for your very thorough comments. I think you've found a couple of real weaknesses. The whole worlds line is fairly meaningless - never good - but I was taken with the h-w-h-w sound alternation ... ie. Hidden While wHole Worlds ... Shallow? Yes. I think so too.
ReplyDeleteV3L5 definitely needs works. Not only because of the repeated 'head' (which alone is pretty poor) but also because the stresses of the metre come astray in that line.
Thanks so much for your comments. Feedback is always satisfying. I've already sent it to Philip and he doesn't hate it so it might get given a tune sometime.
Hope you are well.
s.
Another vote for tempest here. It will turn some off because it sounds more like 'real' poetry and less like emo angst or contemporary Christian language, but it does conjure up the right kind of image.
ReplyDeleteI thought the 'safe' repetition would get too much, particularly at the end of verse 2, but after a second read through I didn't even notice.
Shall look forward to singing this one day.
Got to love contemporary christian language. 'Just' and 'Lord' have become the liturgical forms of 'um'.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you, dan. Go well!
I'm not normally moved much by poetry or verse (I think I pay better attention when there's music and I'm singing ... but I digress) but I find this gripping ... I want to print it out and put in on the fridge so I can read it over and over! The "Safe in our Saviour's Hands" starting lines for the first two verses makes for powerful stuff, I reckon.
ReplyDeleteI agree that 'before' might be better than 'ahead' to avoid the 'head' repeat in the final verse.
I really hope we're singing this at Mitchie one day soon?
I hope you're singing it soon too! So glad you like it. s.
ReplyDelete