Here's another draft - with a chorus this time. And I've killed verse 4.
Lord You Spoke
1. Lord you spoke
and light shone in the darkness.
The earth took form,
the stars in their array.
Creation born
in life and love and beauty.
Mighty word, speak to us today
Tune our ears, so we can hear you
Turn our hearts, so we obey
Breathe your power, move and change us,
Mighty Word, speak to us today.
2. Lord you spoke.
Your word brought hope and healing.
The lame could walk,
the blind could see the way.
At your command
the grave released its captives!
Mighty word, speak to us today!
Tune our ears, so we can hear you
Turn our hearts, so we obeyBreathe your power, move and change us,
Mighty Word, speak to us today.
3. Lord you speak.
Your word, a blade within us,
revealing hearts
and calling all who stray.
Proclaiming grace
A pardon for the guilty.
Mighty word, speak to us today!
Tune our ears, so we can hear you
Turn our hearts, so we obeyBreathe your power, move and change us,
Mighty Word, speak to us today.
sar 2014
Not sure...I liked the admission of doubt in the previous v. 4. It matched the blade in v. 3 and all the negatives in v. 2.
ReplyDeleteI'm not averse to going for a chorus instead, but the four verse structure had the advantage of treating the Christian life distinctly from the conversion, which is not as far as I can recall something you find everywhere. Yes, your chorus does the same. Just not sure whether it's better as a chorus or a verse, to make that point.
I guess I'm not sure this is your chorus. ?
I'm glad you picked up on the conversion/christian life progression. I didn't think anyone would. I'm not sure this is the chorus either. Maybe I'll try again. Anyone else have an opinion?
DeleteI like it.. I like how the chorus acts as a response.
ReplyDeleteLike it lots. I agree with Findo about the response chorus. I really like the 'ears' and 'hearts' distinction. I just love the whole chorus actually: a prayerful cry for help being the best way to respond to God's word.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jane and Findo.
DeleteNot sure about the chorus. I like the sound and flow of "tune our ears...turn our hearts" but "breathe your power..." is a bit of a cliché. I just wonder if it adds anything to the verses. I like it pared down to three verses, makes it nice and pithy and I think in that context I've changed my mind about verse 1.
ReplyDeleteHi Jon. Always good to get your feedback. I wanted the word 'breathe' in there because I want a reference to the Spirit. But I'll rethink the line.
DeleteI'm not keen on V1, line 4 from a grammatical viewpoint. I'm left going, "the stars in their array" did what? In all the other matching lines in the other verses you have a verb that references the 2nd line of those verses or have a sentence structure in themselves.
ReplyDelete