1. "We're here to celebrate."
We're not. We're here to mourn and then find comfort in the promise of resurrection. A funeral is not a party.
2. "She'll live on in our hearts."
She might. But my memory is short and I'm going to die too. A funeral forces me to confront my own mortality and the transitory nature of everything. Saying that she'll live on in my heart gives me little comfort. I want solid ground. I want flesh I can see and touch. I want her. Not memories of her.
3. "This was what she wanted. She was ready to go."
Do you know that? Really? Were you with her when she was struggling for every breath? It didn't look to us like she was embracing death as a friend.
4. "It's not death that's the problem, it's just that we'll miss her."
Death is absolutely the problem! It's death that's taking her away from us! Death is not a kindly old man. He's a monster with horns. And 'missing her' doesn't really capture the wrench of grief.
5. "She's going to be with [deceased husband]."
No she's not. If she's a Christian, she's going to be with Jesus. That's who she really wants.